Youko Jaganshi
by Shadow Jaganshi
Summary: What happens when Youko's soul is taken out of Shuichi and ends up in Hiei? Scariness, that's what.
1. As a Result of Sugar and Demons

Warning: This story came to me while reading a fanfic at 4:00 in the morning that had nothing to do with Yu Yu Hakusho.  If it seems stupid… It probably is. ^_^ Read on.

CHAPTER ONE

As a Result of Sugar and Demons

"This is insane," Hiei muttered. The Reikai Tantei, along with their new assistants, Shadow Jaganshi and Eclipse Shinomori (they got hired with the help of Shadow's great persuasive skills, a.k.a. metal baseball bat), were walking through a frozen forest of cacti.

"Yes Hiei. Insane would describe frozen cactuses quite well," Shadow said matter-of-factly. She wrapped her black trench coat tighter around herself. "Snow should be against the law."

"Where are we, anyway?" Eclipse asked. "I think it's like... Impossible for cactuses to be frozen, isn't it?"

"Not impossible. But it's unlikely for cacti to be anywhere that they could get frozen in the first place," Kurama said, walking past the two shivering girls to walk beside Hiei.

"Why am I out here again?" Shadow asked.

"Because you had to go and be an idiot and get Koenma to hire you on as tantei assistants," Yusuke snapped. "Why couldn't you just sit at home with your goldfish and weasels?"

"Because I said so."

"That made no sense," Yusuke replied.

"I know. I just ate a mini Snickers."

"You what?" Hiei said, spinning around.

"I ate _chocolate_. Fear me," Shadow said.

"We do. You bet your whatever we do," Yusuke said, speeding up to take the lead and get away from Shadow.

"And you know what's worse?" Shadow said, smiling widely.

"No, what?" Hiei said nervously.

"_I have more_."

"Oh, crap."

"Where are we again?" Eclipse asked.

"We are inside some guy's strange hallucination," Yusuke said.

"We're inside a holographic world, actually. None of this is real. It's all in this guy's head. We aren't really here," Kurama explained.

"Run that by me again?" Shadow said, staring.

"We are all lying in that little chamber with all those wires attached to our heads. Koenma had to send us into this guy's head to pull him out of a coma."

"Is that possible?" Hiei asked.

"Who knows."

"So... There's no fast way to get away from Shadow?"

"If none of this is real, then I didn't really eat chocolate, did I?" Shadow asked.

"No."

"But with you, _thinking_ you ate chocolate is bad enough," Eclipse said dryly.

Shadow laughed evilly.

"So, since we're inside this guy's head, is that why there are frozen cactuses around?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes, Kuwabara. You would be correct in assuming as much," Shadow said, nodding. "For once, you're right. But that's a first."

"Hey!" Kuwabara complained. "That's not nice!"

"Whoever said I'm nice?" Shadow asked.

"You're nice to Hiei."

"Because Hiei is my housing companion and if I do not treat him kindly, he will kick my butt right out onto the street," Shadow explained, sounding smart.

"No he wouldn't! He loves you too-- ITAI!" Kuwabara whined as Hiei delivered a kick to the side of his head.

"Would you drop the love thing?!" he snapped. "We aren't mates, and as far as I know, we're not becoming mates anytime soon."

"But you want to," Yusuke taunted. "Don't hurt me!" 

Hiei's glare was painful enough. Yusuke felt like his head was on fire. Wait... His head _was_ on fire.

"ITAI! BAKA! MY HAIR!" Yusuke dove headfirst into a deep snow drift. "Ahhh..."

"You deserved it," Hiei said, peering down into the hole Yusuke had made.

"Shut up, Hiei," Yusuke said, twisting and turning to get himself to sit up. The snow cracked like it was a big frozen sheet of ice. Wait... Ice is frozen, so of course it would be a _frozen_ sheet of ice... Baka.

"It cracked," Shadow said, looking down at him.

"No, really?"

"Yeah. Really."

Yusuke stood up, and the ice cracked even more.

"It cracked again," Shadow said, pointing.

"I know! Idiot! I'm standing on it!" Yusuke whined. "Now, let's hope I can get off without--"

The ice cracked and collapsed and Yusuke fell. A second later, the crack widened and the entire group fell, screaming and cursing, into a large frozen cave.

"What the heck?" Hiei said, looking around.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Hiei spun around to see Shadow spinning around and around and around on a patch of ice, completely out of control and finding it fun.

"YAY!"

"Shadow! Get over here!" Hiei ordered.

Shadow attempted to stop and fell on her butt. And kept spinning. Right over a frozen waterfall. And you know what she said as she fell?

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

There was a loud thud as she hit the ice at the bottom, followed by a woozy groan.

"Shadow?"

Kurama and Hiei stupidly ran out onto the ice, slid, and ended up over the waterfall on top of Shadow.

"A little help?" she mumbled.

"Hey guys! I think we're supposed to go this way!" came Eclipse's voice. "Guys? Um... Where are you?"

"We fell over a cliff!" Shadow shouted back up. "And it was great fun!"

"Shut up, Shadow," Hiei growled. 

"I think we should concentrate on going back up," Kurama said.

"Or we could go this way," Shadow said, pointing at a single tunnel-like hallway kind of thing leading away. "Let's take a vote. All in favor of going down this tunnel-like hallway-looking thing, say 'I'!"

"I," Hiei and Kurama said in unison, being as they didn't want to try finding a way back up the ice fall. Eclipse peered over the edge of the icefall.

"I," she said, looking around for an easy way down.

"ECLIPSE, LOOK OUT! DON'T FALL!" Yusuke and Kuwabara screamed, having finally gotten themselves up out of the snow and not knowing she was looking down at Shadow and in complete control of her balance. They ran towards her, slipped on the ice, and all three tumbled over the edge.

"Good one, slick," Shadow said as Yusuke landed with a thud on top of Kuwabara in front of her.

"Where's Eclipse?"

"You're on top of her."

The two boys instantly jumped up. Eclipse was flattened onto the ice.

"Itai..." she groaned, sitting up.

"Let's go!" Shadow chirped, skipping away. Well, skipping the best she could without slipping and falling on the sheet of ice that provided the floor. It had obviously been a river at one point, but it was frozen now. Duh.

After a few minutes of cautious walking (and skipping), the group came to a sheer cliff face. The river had led into a lake, and this was the end of it.

"Well, this can't be good," Yusuke muttered. "How are we gonna get up?"

"Use the stairs!"

The group turned to see Shadow skipping up a set of stairs. They were no where near as steep as the cliff, and had obviously been carved out of the rock. The tantei followed Shadow up the stairs as she continued skipping happily (and hyperly) down the path of snow.

"Guys, look at this!" Shadow called from around a corner. "I think it might be kind of important!"

The group rounded the corner to find Shadow standing face-to-face with a huge demon. Well, not exactly face-to-face. More like face-to-knee. The creature reached down and picked her up, holding her at face level. _Now_ it was face-to-face.

"Put her down!" Yusuke yelled. He aimed his spirit gun... and was promptly hit with an icicle club. He went flying and plowed into Kuwabara, and both of them hit the wall.

"Guys, this thing smells _really bad_," Shadow complained as the creature took a swing at Hiei. "Could you please hurry up?"

"You're not completely helpless, Shadow! Do something!" Hiei yelled. "You're half demon!"

"I am? Oh yeah!" Shadow said. "But I think the sugar might be kind of... interfering."

"IDIOT! BURN HIM!" Eclipse screamed. Shadow closed her eyes and scrunched up in a little ball, concentrating. The creature let out a howl of pain and dropped her about fifteen or twenty feet to the ice, where she landed and melted a crater around herself before she could lower her temperature.

"KILL IT!" Shadow screamed, jumping out of the puddle she had formed and waving her arms around insanely. "KILL! KILL! KILL, KILL, KILL!"

Hiei and Kurama both lunged at the creature at the same time, their weapons drawn, and it promptly caught them in an energy sphere. It brightened to a blinding white orb, and a second later, the creature howled in pain, and Hiei and Kurama dropped to the ice. The creature disintegrated. Shadow ran to Hiei.

"Hiei? Are you okay?" she asked. He groaned and pushed himself to his hands and knees. 

"I'm..." he stopped, sitting up. "Different."

"You're different?! What?!"

Shadow's attention was drawn to Kurama. He was sitting a few feet away gasping and whimpering.

"Kurama?"

"What... What is this?" he said to himself. "It's... Youko is... gone?"

"Youko? What?" Shadow said, confused.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Hiei screamed suddenly.

"Hiei?"

"He's... Youko is in me now."

"_WHAT?_"

"It's true," Hiei said. "I don't know how, but it's true."

"Then why am I still... me?" Kurama asked. "I have memories and knowledge of Youko... But he's gone."

"I don't know."

"Isn't this just all in that guy's head?" Kuwabara asked suddenly. "None of this is real, right?"

"I don't know," Hiei repeated. 

_"It's real."_

"Oh, what the fuck? Youko! Man, how the hell am I going to deal with my friend being inside my head?" Hiei complained.

_"You'll be fine. It's not like I'm going to kill you, Hiei."_

"Oh, this is too much. I don't need voices in my head!"

"Hiei, come on. We need to finish our mission," Yusuke said. "We'll sort this all out later."

"No! We need to sort this out now! I don't want this fox in my head!"

_"Oh, come on Hiei. Yusuke's right. Besides, I'm gonna have fun knowing all your thoughts..."_ Youko's voice said mischievously in the back of Hiei's head.

"What?! Oh, that's it! I want him out! Now!"

Suddenly, the entire cavern disintegrated around them and they found themselves lying on little table-like beds with wires attached to their heads. Everyone but Hiei and Kurama woke up instantly. However, the two demons were still asleep and were being watched closely by teen Koenma and an ogre. There were several other ogres and demons around, in front of screens and monitors and such.

"What's up, Koenma?" Yusuke asked, pulling all the wires off his head and sitting up. 

"Something happened with Hiei and Kurama. There was a bright flash, then both of their brainwave monitors went berserk," Koenma explained.

"Why are we back here, though?" Kuwabara asked.

"I pulled you out of the fantasy world when Hiei and Kurama flipped."

"Oh. Why aren't they awake, though?" Kuwabara asked.

"Their brainwaves are still way different. I can't wake them up when they're unstable," one of the ogres explained.

"Oh."

Suddenly, without any consent of anyone else, Hiei sat bolt upright with a gasp and sat there breathing hard. Kurama woke up slowly and lay there looking confused for a second before sitting up.

"Are you still there?" Hiei asked, looking up.

_"Yes, Hiei. I must say, you have a rather interesting mind. So different from Shuichi..."_

"I don't care about my mind! I just want you out of it!" he snapped, getting off the bed. Koenma stared at him.

"Hiei? What's going on?"

"Youko has migrated," Shadow said.

"Huh?"

"He _migrated_. You know what that means, don't you, Prince?" she said, crossing her arms.

"I know what it means, I just don't understand. Youko migrated...?"

"Into Hiei. Something in that demon's head... He obviously has the ability to mess with souls and the like," Kurama explained.

"Then... How are you the same?" Koenma asked.

"Good question."

_"Oh! I think I just discovered all your thoughts on Shadow,"_ Youko said, sounding like he'd just hit the jackpot.

"Stop it, fox! Just cuz you're in my head doesn't mean you have to go make yourself at home and read every thought and memory I've ever had!"

_"I'm sorry. But with Shuichi, I already knew everything he thought. With you, I have to familiarize myself with--"_

"Oh no you don't!"

_"You pervert!"_

"Huh?"

_"You have been using your Jagan for naughty things, Hiei Jaganshi."_

"You! Fox! Would you stop it?!"

"Hiei?" Shadow said, tapping him on the shoulder. He spun around and looked at her with insanity in his eyes.

"**I don't want this stupid fox in my head**!" he growled.

"It's not my fault!" Shadow said, holding her hands up in surrender.

"I didn't say it was! But he's gonna drive me insane! I don't need my friend's voice in the back of my head!"

"It's going to be scary not having Youko's voice in the back of my head. It's been there for my whole life, now it's gone," Kurama said. "No more perverted comments, no more perverted suggestions... No more comments on Shadow... No more willing me to kill and steal and..."

"'_Comments on Shadow'_?! Just what kind of comments does that perv make about me?" Shadow asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"You don't want to know."

_"You know, Hiei, you really should take a vacation from Shadow. You're spending too much time with her."_

"Shut UP, fox!" Hiei snapped.

_"Make a move on Eclipse."_

"What the heck? No way, you freak!"

_"Then make a move on Shadow. You know you want to."_

"You're enjoying this, aren't you! I spend a lot more time with Shadow than Kurama does... or Shuichi... or whatever you want to call him now! And you know it! And you're overjoyed by that, aren't you!"

_"Heh heh heh."_

"Shadow, if I ever do anything perverted to you, feel free to hit me, but it's not my fault," Hiei warned, holding his hands out to his sides in surrender.

"I wonder if..." Kurama mumbled to himself. He pulled a rose out of his hair. Everyone stared at him for a second. "Nope. Hiei, you try." He handed the flower to Hiei.

"Try what?"

"Try to make it a whip. Try to do anything with it," Kurama said. After staring at the flower for a second, Hiei shrugged. The flower glowed slightly, moved, and a second later it was a twisted mess around his hand and wrist.

"Um... That's not exactly what I had intended to happen," Hiei mumbled. "It's kind of cutting me a little bit..."

Thin streams of blood were running down Hiei's hand.

"Pull your energy out of it!" Kurama instructed. A second later, the rose transformed and fell to the ground as Hiei stared at his bloody hand.

"Nice."

_"Congratulations, Hiei. You're the new possessor of my powers."_

"Like I care!" Hiei complained. "I want you out of my head! Koenma, is there anything you could do to get this fox out of my head and back where he came from?!"

"I'll have to think about that for a while, but I don't know of anything right off the top of my head," Koenma said.

"Noo!"

"I suggest you go home and rest. I'll call you back up here when I need you... But if you really have Youko in your head, I think it might be better that you stay out of the action for a while. You too, Kurama... Shuichi... whatever," Koenma said. "Yusuke, Kuwabara... Stay here. I still need this demon. Shadow, Eclipse... take a hike."

"Yes sir!" Shadow said. She grabbed Hiei's wrist and ran towards the door with Kurama and Eclipse walking behind her.

_"This is gonna be fun..."_

"SHUT UP!"

************************

I know, the way it happened was bogus, but hey, you never know. It's kinda like my Separation Situation story. I just put something about a bright flash of light and voila, they're back together. 

In case you couldn't tell, Youko's talking in the back of Hiei's head is in italics and italic quotes. Just so you can tell. ^_^ This story popped into my head while reading a Rurouni Kenshin fic... It was 4 in the morning. Cut me a break. ^_^ 

The big question: **Should I continue this fic?**

****

_~Shadow Jaganshi~_


	2. A Short Chapter

**CHAPTER TWO**

A Short Chapter

Back at home, Shadow forced Hiei into a chair and sat across from him at the dining room table while Eclipse and Kurama hung around in the living room having a conversation about... Well, more like a one sided conversation that consisted of Eclipse staring blankly at Kurama, who was trying to understand the current situation from an intelligent point of view and thinking out loud.

"So I suppose you're not pulling some elaborate joke, are you?" Shadow asked.

"No, baka! The stupid fox is really in my head!"

_"Must you be so cruel?"_

"Shut up, fox!"

"Okay. I'm going to have to make some plan to deal with this," Shadow said thoughtfully. "But until then... avoid thinking, especially about anything private, and anything about me."

"Too late for that," Hiei muttered. Shadow's eyes widened.

"Nice," she said, pale.

Inside Hiei's head, Youko was chuckling to himself as he read all Hiei's thoughts.

"I wonder..." Hiei started, sounding nervous.

_"Oh yeah. I can."_

"Oh crap. Please don't."

_"Why not? You haven't gotten used to me. You haven't got control of me. I could take control of you any time I felt like it."_

"Hiei?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you look so freaked out?"

"Oh, no reason in particular," Hiei said, standing up. "I'm gonna go up to my room and try to get this fox out of my head before he tries anything."

_"Tries anything? You're so distrusting, Hiei."_

"Yeah, well what do you expect with you in my head?" Hiei snapped, stalking up the stairs.

Shadow paced over to Kurama. "Figure anything out?" she asked.

"Uh-uh," he said, shaking his head.

"Great. So how are we gonna deal with this?"

"**SHUT UP!**" came Hiei's voice from upstairs. Everybody stared. A minute later, Youko Kurama came strolling down the stairs and stopped halfway to look at them. Shadow's jaw dropped.

"Ohcrap," she said, running the two words together.

"Uh-oh," Eclipse said, staring.

"Hi, Shadow," Youko said, flicking his ears. Shadow stared, slack-jawed, her right eye twitching. Eclipse and Kurama watched her, waiting for some explosion. Instead, she fell over backwards and started twitching. Youko stood there and looked at her in an amused sort of way.

"I'm happy to see you too," he said, smirking. He jumped over the railing and walked towards Shadow.

"Youko, leave her alone," Eclipse said. "Why don't you nicely bring Hiei back so Shadow doesn't lose her sanity..."

"I don't think I will right now. I haven't been out for quite a while, thanks to dear Shuichi here," Youko said, looking at his human counterpart.

"You know nothing good happens when you're out," Kurama said. "Shadow has to hide in a dark corner shivering until I manage to get control again. Now she's even worse off."

"Why's that?"

"Hiei's the one she usually looks to for protection, in case you hadn't noticed," Kurama said.

"Ah yes. Hiei," Youko said, looking up. "He's not coping with this too well."

"WHAT?" Shadow jumped up and grabbed Youko by the front of his shirt. "Are you hurting him?"

"Nah. Not physically."

"YOU PSYCHO!" Shadow screeched, shaking him.

"Calm down, Shadow!" Youko said, grabbing her wrists. His ears twitched.

"I don't need to be stuck alone with some pervert! Hiei's in your head or something, Yusuke's not here, but he wouldn't help anyway, Kuwabara... he's completely out of the question... Eclipse is just... she's just too Eclipse--"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"--And Kurama... Shuichi... person... is human now! AND YOU'RE A PERVERT!"

"I'm not that bad, am I?"

"Uh... Yeah. You are. Would you let go of my wrists now?"

"Ah. Right." Youko let go. "I think you're being a little unfair, Shadow. I haven't seen you in quite a while. Do you have to be so mean?"

"YES. Because whenever I do see you, you harass me!"

"... But..."

"NO. No buts."

Youko swished his tail. "Fine. But Hiei has no control over me at the moment. So I could just show up whenever I want to."

Youko--seven feet tall, silver hair, white clothes--vanished, and in his place was Hiei--barely over five feet, black hair, and black clothes. He looked around, seeming confused, then patted himself.

"I'm me!" he said. Shadow squealed. Hiei glanced at her and shuddered. "I never want that to happen again."

_"Well, you have no control over me. We can't guarantee anything now can we?"_

"You know what, fox? Shut up!" Hiei snapped. Youko made some dissatisfied pouty noise, but he shut up.

"We seriously need to do something about this before that ever happens again," Shadow said. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"No, really? Maybe I should just go seal myself in my room until I figure out how to control him."

_"You wouldn't seriously do that, would you?"_

"I think I should learn to read minds so I can figure out what that pervert is saying to you every time you flip out," Shadow mumbled.

Youko chuckled. 

"You probably wouldn't want to know," Hiei said. "Judging by what he's said so far, it can only get worse."

_"What's that supposed to mean? I haven't been that bad!"_

_"Sure you haven't. It was only two seconds after you found out you could access my thoughts that you searched for anything interesting I might know about Shadow,"_ Hiei shot back in his head.

_"Well what did you expect?!"_

_"Maybe you could be a bit more... I don't know... Perhaps you could learn to suppress your pervertedness, for everybody's sake."_

_"I can. I just choose not to. Partially because it annoys people, partially because Shadow's attractive,"_ Youko said.

_"Why don't you harass Eclipse?"_

_"Aw, are you defending your girl?"_

Hiei growled. _"Shut up, freak."_

_"Embarrassed? How cute!"_

_"DON'T USE CUTE IN RELATION WITH ME! That should be criminal."_

Youko chuckled. It was only then that Hiei became aware that Shadow was waving her hand in front of his face and yelling his name.

"Sorry. What were you saying? I was too busy talking to the voice in the back of my head," Hiei said. 

"Ah. I was asking you if you wanted to go up to Reikai to see if Koenma can do anything about that fox," Shadow said.

"I doubt he can. I think I'm just going to seal myself in my room for a while. See you later," Hiei said. He darted up the stairs before anybody could say anything about it.

...........................................................................................................................

I did have writer's block, but then I read some reviews of the first chapter and had ideas. I decided that the entire next chapter will probably be Hiei sitting in his room talking to Youko. More like arguing, probably. That's probably gonna be it. But it might not be up for a while.

Oh, by the way, it's March 14th. My BIRTHDAY! Woot.

I have another fic I'm working on, but I'm not gonna post it because I still have four posted that aren't finished... And I'm not done with "Work Sucks" yet... That one still has a lot to go. And... There's still eleven days worth of vacation in the "Sun, Sand and Surf" story... The Bishie story is almost done, maybe one or two chapters left, but I'm adding some stuff on the end. Outtakes and deleted scenes and other such fun stuff. ^_^

Thanks to Demon Ashika for the title!


	3. Arguments

Sorry it took so long to update. I had this done **Saturday (March 20),** but since some person (not mentioning names… I'm not pissed anymore. So long as that person leaves me alone now) reported me for "YYH Interview" being in script format, I didn't have upload access until **March 24, 2004, at 9:23 PM pst**. I'm not even in the PST time zone, so really I couldn't get on until March 25th... *curses loudly*

**CHAPTER THREE**

Arguments

Hiei threw himself onto his bed and lay there for a second in complete silence. Silence is nice, he decided. Of course, nice never lasts.

_"What's with sealing yourself in your room? Come on, Hiei, you're no fun."_

_"Cut me a break, kitsune. Have you ever known me to have fun?"_

_"Yes. When you're with Shadow you have fun."_

Hiei growled. _"Shut up."_

_"You know it's true. I know it's true. Remember, I'm part of you. I know your every conscious thought. Hell, I could probably dig into your subconscious if I tried hard enough."_

_"Shut up, fox! You're going to make me rip out my own eyes!"_

_"Oh, Hiei. Don't do that. That would be stupid,"_ Youko said, sounding concerned. (Well, he didn't actually physically/audibly say it, since nobody but Hiei heard him, but when I say Youko said something, unless he is out, you know I mean he said it to Hiei, in Hiei's head. OKAY?! Geez. Perfectionists.)__

_"No, really?"_ Hiei retorted.

_"Yes. Really. If you tore out your eyes, you wouldn't be able to see, and I wouldn't be able to see, and that would be horrible."_

_"Yeah. No more staring at Shadow,"_ Hiei retorted.

_"Yes, Hiei, but I only stare at Shadow if you stare at Shadow."_

_"D'oh! You know what, Fox? You're going to drive me completely insane. Then I'll be locked in a white room and only see Shadow when she brings me food."_

_"Is there really an insane asylum in this house? Because with everything else here, I seriously wouldn't doubt it. Shuichi never explored the entire house very thoroughly. But you live here. Maybe I'll find out some... interesting... things."_

_"Sure, Youko."_ Hiei tried his best to cut off any thoughts he was having. Of course, he was able to do it when his mind was clear, but with this fox in his head, he was fairly sure his mind would never be clear. Not until he managed to control him. Suddenly, Hiei realized Youko was silent. It was a relief. Until he realized most likely why Youko was silent.

_"Invading my thoughts again, Fox?"_

_"Sorry, Hiei. It's hard to resist."_

_"Not like you're really trying that hard, though."_

The fox chuckled. Hiei sighed and curled up on his bed, and Youko shut up as the demon drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Shadow was startled to wake up with somebody else in her bed. His arms were wrapped around her waist from behind and his head rested on her shoulder.

_"Dammit, Youko!"_ she thought. However, she rolled over to find Hiei lying beside her. "Hiei?!"

The little demon's red eyes opened slowly, and he stared at Shadow.

"Shadow? Why am I... Oh SHIT!" Hiei sat bolt upright and glanced down at the slightly confused Shadow, lying on her back looking up at him. "I'm sorry, Shadow." _"Dammit, Youko, you sick bastard!"_

_"Sorry, Hiei... It was so tempting..."_

_"You didn't do anything to her, did you?"_

_"Do anything...? Hiei! Now who's the sick bastard?"_

_"I wouldn't put it past you!"_

_"You're so trusting. I think you would have realized it if I was raping her or something, Jaganshi."_

_"Well I obviously was oblivious when you came down here and got in bed with her! Why would I have noticed if you had?"_

_"Hiei, don't you know anything about sex?"_

Hiei snarled._ "I'm not some cave-man, fox. I think I know a bit more than you give me credit for."_

_"Just making sure... Though I suppose I could have just read your mind."_

Hiei snarled again, just as the door to Shadow's room opened. In his argument, Hiei had been completely oblivious when Shadow got out of bed and went to open the door for whoever was knocking on it. It was Kurama. He stared.

"I didn't mean to interrupt anything..."

"Interrupt?" Shadow said, clueless.

"Forget it," Hiei said, pushing past them and walking down the hall.

"Anyway..." Shadow said absently, staring down the hall at Hiei.

"Yes... I was just seeing if you were awake, Shadow. I mean, it's three thirty in the afternoon. When somebody sleeps for seventeen hours, it tends to worry me."

"Seventeen hours?"

"Yeah... You went to bed around ten, and now it's three thirty. That's seventeen hours, give or take... Probably give. You _were_ sleeping the whole time, weren't you?" Kurama said, a nervous/suspicious/worried expression on his face. Shadow blinked, still too asleep to understand what he was getting at.

"Huh?"

"Shadow, Youko is in Hiei's mind, and Hiei... was in your bed... and you were in your room for seventeen hours..."

Shadow finally got it. And she flatly replied, "Unless I slept through it, Youko did not screw me."

"Okay!" Kurama said in a little voice. "Just making sure... It is kind of suspicious..."

Shadow smirked. "Jealous?"

"_No_!" Kurama said. 

"Sure... Well if you don't mind, I would like to get dressed." She shut the door in his face. Kurama made his way down stairs. Eclipse was waiting for him.

"What is it?" she said, seeing the look on his face.

"Oh, nothing major... I just went up there and found Hiei in Shadow's bed..."

"Ork!"

"Shadow says that unless she slept through it, she's still a virgin. Well those weren't her exact words, and hopefully she is still a virgin, but... Well, you know what I mean."

Shadow came trudging down the stairs a second later, still dressed the shorts and loose t-shirt she slept in. Kurama looked at her questioningly.

"I'm hungry," she said.

"Ah."

She came out of the kitchen a few minutes later with a mixing bowl filled with a mixture of cereals and other foods. Eclipse and Kurama looked at her funny, but she ignored them and sat on the couch, absentmindedly shoveling handfuls of food into her mouth and staring off into space.

"Shadow? Are you all right?" Eclipse asked.

"Yes... I'm just trying to remember why I didn't notice when Hiei came in my room and got in my bed."

"Shadow, the way you sleep, somebody could drop and atomic bomb in the front lawn, let those damned weasels loose in your bedroom, and a minor hurricane could blow through your room, and you wouldn't even wake up through it," Eclipse pointed out. Shadow shrugged.

"True."

"But then again, that means you could probably sleep through sex, too."

That definitely got everyone's attention. Shadow slammed her bowl down on the table. Cocoa Puffs and orange slices flew everywhere.

"Let's not even _go there_!" she snapped. She shot up the stairs. After staring in that direction for a few minutes and hearing no murders, Kurama and Eclipse decided to see what Shadow was having for breakfast. The two of them peered into the bowl and almost gagged.

Cocoa Puffs and oranges were already mentioned. Well, in addition, there were spaghetti noodles, banana slices, mushrooms, Chex Mix, and over all of it... Chocolate syrup. Eclipse poked at a strange looking blob of goo.

"I think it's Spam," Kurama mumbled, looking dazed. Eclipse gagged.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Shadow had made a point of getting fully dressed before stomping up to Hiei's room.

"Hiei!" she said, knocking on the door. "Open the door!"

_"Oh shit,"_ Hiei thought.

_"What? She's been in your room before, hasn't she?"_

_"She sounds pissed, Fox. Shut up, and don't try anything. Somebody will get hurt. Probably you."_ Hiei went to his door and opened it, slightly nervous.

"Why were you in my bed?" Shadow asked abruptly.

"Youko."

"Well Youko didn't harass me in my deeper-than-R.E.M. sleep, did he?"

_"Well?"_ Hiei prompted.

_"Didn't I already go through this with you? I got you two in the same bed, but I didn't do anything else. Geez. Why doesn't anybody trust me?"_

Hiei ignored the last question, because it was just stupid, and turned his attention to Shadow. "He says he didn't."

"Okay. Because I didn't think he did. I didn't feel any... different... when I woke up... Except that my friend was sleeping pressed up against my back with his arms around my waist."

Hiei blushed very slightly.

"So, I'm assuming you didn't figure out a way to control him?" Shadow said. Hiei shook his head. "Well figure it out soon, before any nighttime encounters turn into... something else..."

_"Horizontal sports?"_ Youko suggested. Inwardly, Hiei screamed with disgust. He hit himself in the head.

_"Psycho!"_ Hiei accused. Shadow knew by the look on his face that he was having a nice 'chat' with his fox friend. She excused herself and walked down the hall towards the stairs.

Meanwhile, Eclipse and Kurama were so disgusted with the mixture Shadow had in that bowl that they had found some chopsticks and were separating the chunks of fruit and Spam and mushrooms out of the cereal. They couldn't do anything about the chocolate syrup it was all saturated with, but they did their best.

"What are you doing?"

Shadow was suddenly behind them.

"You're messing with my breakfast."

"Well, it looked disgusting," Kurama said. 

"But it isn't."

"It had mold in it. We're searching for more," Eclipse lied.

"Food inspectors, now?" Shadow said. "Gimme that, fools." She grabbed the bowl and poured what was left into her mouth, chewed it, and swallowed.

Eclipse and Kurama stared, on the verge of throwing up.

"Actually, it is pretty disgusting," Shadow said. She ran out of the room with her hand over her mouth. The bathroom door slammed a second later.

"Ew..."

Kurama hurriedly gathered the crap they had picked out and threw it in the garbage.

Hiei was nowhere to be seen all day. He had locked himself in his dark room to meditate or train or whatever he had to do to keep that fox in his head... well... to keep him in his head. Instead of out and about. Not like he really _wanted_ to keep him in his head, but it was better than being in Youko's head. Scary. *Shudder*

Somebody knocked on his door. He looked at the clock. Six thirty.

"Oh, Hiei!" Shadow called through his door. "Dinner time."

"I'm not hungry."

"YES YOU ARE! YOU HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING SINCE YESTERDAY, YOU VERTICALLY CHALLENGED, ANTI-GRAV-HAIRED, SWORD SWINGING LUNATIC!"

_"Interesting nicknames."_

_"Shut up, fox."_

"Fine. I'm coming," Hiei said. He got up and went down to the dinner table with Shadow. She pointed at a box on the table.

"Pizza."

"Yes, I could tell," Hiei said sarcastically.

"You could? But the box is closed!"

"Well, it says 'fresh baked pizza' on it, and there's coupons tacked to the box."

"Oh. Well, isn't that interesting..." Shadow pulled the coupon sheet off and used the tape to stick it to Kurama's shoulder. He sighed and pulled it off, setting it on the table and sitting down across from Hiei.

_"It's strange to see things through your eyes, Hiei. Like looking at Shuichi. I'm not used to that,"_ Youko commented.

_"That's nice,"_ Hiei said absently, taking a bite out of his pizza.

_"And when you're standing up, you're constantly looking up."_

_"I am not! Shadow's only about two inches taller than me!"_

_"But Shuichi is almost a foot taller than you. I'm used to seeing things out of his eyes. Or my eyes. And I'm even taller than he is."_

_"You know what, fox? Shut up."_ With that, Hiei refused to acknowledge Youko's comments, and wondered why the hell he hadn't done that from the start of things. Eventually, the fox gave up on pestering him.

After dinner, they sat there and watched TV. Hiei ended up staying there and sitting through some incredibly cheesy movie about... well, he wasn't sure what it was about. Half the time he had been arguing with Youko over... something. He wasn't sure what he had been arguing about, because it kept ending up as an argument over Shadow.

Needless to say, it was getting rather annoying. But Hiei, being... well... being Hiei, managed to endure it. Because he is almost-almighty, after all... Never mind. Somebody out there knows what I'm talking about.

**Two days later...**

Shadow rolled over and came face to face with Hiei. She groaned.

"Hiei, I really wish you'd do something about this."

The little demon's eyes snapped open.

"Damn fox," he mumbled.

Hiei groaned and got out of Shadow's bed. As he walked out of the room, he screamed his mental lungs out at Youko.

_"WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS EVERY NIGHT SINCE YOU GOT IN MY HEAD?"_

_"I don't understand you, Hiei. What's so bad about sleeping with her?"_

_"It's not by my choice, or hers."_

_"So?!"_

Hiei sighed. Arguing with this fox had gotten really annoying over the past few days. He went up to his room and got dressed.

"Shadow, I'm going to Reikai! I want this fox out of my head, now!" Hiei called. Shadow had caught up to him, fully dressed and ready to go, before he even reached the door. Of course, that was because he had to wake up Shuichi and wait for him to dress so he could drag him up to Reikai. While they were waiting, Shadow woke Eclipse and she got ready, too. Just to go along for the heck of it, maybe.

"Let's go," he said once the human was out of his room. "This fox is going back where he belongs if it have to do it myself." And the group walked out the door.

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Thank you very much to cat, who gave me one idea that ended up being practically the whole chapter. ^_^ I know I said this whole chapter would be Hiei and Youko arguing, and there was a lot of it, but I decided that they had to have something to argue over, so I added some random little stuffs in. The pizza is gonna have a part later in the story (a small part, but it will have a part. Nothing important, really, either, but a random thought was written at the bottom of my story, and I decided to use it.)

And I seriously am trying to work on 'Work Sucks,' but I ran into a giant cement writer's block, and all I have to break through it is a pointed rock and a hammer… Primitive chisel. Damn. Well, I could hit a weak spot and the whole thing would crumble. You never know. I'll keep trying… ^.~

Review, people!


	4. Just Another Strange Chapter

**First, I'm sorry I'm taking so long to update all my stories… *sob* BLAME SCHOOL! This chapter isn't incredibly long, either, but at least it's something… **

**Robin Autumn-** ^_^ Yes, Youko's been having lots of fun. 

**Manimoko-** Thank you.

chocogurl- Writer's block is an author's worst enemy… Except, of course, for the hired assassin standing outside my window watching me… He's pretty bad too… 

**Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure-** Thanks for the suggestion. I'll think about it. ^_^

**What2callmyself?-** I honestly haven't got the slightest clue how they'll get him back. I'll have to talk to Eclipse about it… At some point… Or if you have any suggestions. If _anyone_ has any suggestions…

**firedragongirl-** Youko is going back into Shuichi's body… I know I'm cruel, but I won't be that mean to Shadow as to have Youko around free. O_O

**Huyana Jaganshi-** Yay! I updated again after ages upon years!

**Kaida13-** Heh. In the bishie abduction story they kinda do…

**Mari Youma-** Horizontal sports, I believe, is just another way of saying sex. O_o

**Koneko-chan-** Karasu would probably go have a seizure or choke on his own drool or something… Maybe I'll put that in my story if I can find a place to fit it. ^_^;

**Yayo-** Yes, isn't he though?

**Demon Ashika-** That's gotta suck. Like I said to chocogurl about the writer's block… Author's worst enemy.

**nutari-** Good lord, I don't wanna kill anyone… Then I'd be forced to write my stories on prison walls! And nobody'd ever read them but me, and I'd read them so often I'd lose my mind, then I'd be writing them on white walls, which are a lot easier to write/read on than prison walls…

**Draikitha-** I'm glad. Because I usually don't know what I'm talking about. At least somebody does… O_o

**Sillyningengirl-** Okee dokee, then. Here it is.

If anyone has any ideas of how I could get Youko and Shuichi back to normal, suggest them PLEASE, because like I said, with my writer's block (also known as SCHOOL), I'm having a hard time with all my stories.

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Just another strange chapter

_(as usual)___

"What do you mean you can't do anything?!"

"I mean exactly that, Hiei. At this moment, I can't do anything. I have more pressing matters to deal with right now."

Hiei grabbed the Reikai prince by the front of his shirt.

"MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY **_SANITY_**?!"

"Hiei, let go of me," the teen said.

"I want this fox out! Every night since he got in my head, he has somehow managed to get me into Shadow's bedroom to sleep with her!"

"Is that bad?" Koenma asked. Hiei let go of his shirt.

"You sound exactly like him."

_"Hiei! That's an insult!"_

_"Shut UP, fox!"_

"Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara are working on an important case. The only reason I don't have you and Kurama working with them is because neither of you are quite right at the moment..."

"What have they got to do with me?!" Hiei asked. Shadow, Eclipse, and Kurama were hanging back, avoiding any possible injury that might result from Hiei's loss of sanity.

"Until they get back, I have to worry about them. I'm sorry, but I can't help you right now."

Hiei turned around and looked at his friends, making faces and acting like he was strangling someone. Shadow laughed nervously and walked forward.

"Koenma..."

The prince looked up.

"**YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT! I THINK HIEI'S SANITY IS A LOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN YUSUKE OR KUWABARA! IF HIEI LOSES HIS MIND, HE'LL MOST LIKELY BE TAKEN OVER BY THAT DAMNED FOX AND WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF HAVOC WILL BE WREAKED ALL OVER THE PLACE IF THAT HAPPENS? AND BESIDES, IF YOU GET THAT FOX BACK WHERE HE BELONGS, HIEI AND KURAMA CAN GO _HELP_ THOSE TWO BAKAYAROUS**!"

Koenma looked up at her from the floor, where he had ended up when the pure force of her voice knocked his chair over backwards and sent paperwork flying all over his office. Everybody was silent, watching Shadow. She was panting and her eyes were glowing red; her hands were clenched into fists and her teeth were a jagged line of fangs. (Picture Misao from Rurouni Kenshin when she's mad.)

Hiei finally broke the silence, with one short, nervous word that said it all. 

"Whoa."

That seemed to snap everybody back to their senses. Koenma went from stunned to mad.

"CLEAN UP THAT MESS!" he ordered. Shadow glared at him.

"NOT UNTIL YOU HELP HIEI."

"WHAT HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH IT? YOU MADE THE MESS, YOU CLEAN IT UP!"

"ONLY ONCE HIEI IS NORMAL. THE MESS GOT MADE BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING A TWIT ABOUT HELPING HIEI, NOW IF YOU'RE GONNA BE NICE AND HELP, I'LL BE NICE AND CLEAN UP YOUR OFFICE! BUT IT'S YOUR FAULT THE MESS IS THERE. YOU CLEAN IT UP, YOU MIDGET PRINCE!"

"SHADOW, I'VE GOT ABOUT ONE NERVE LEFT, AND YOU'RE GETTING ON IT! **CLEAN IT UP**."

"**GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

The blue ogre ran into the room.

"Yes...? Whoa."

"CLEAN UP THAT MESS."

"SHADOW! THAT'S IT! YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW CLOSE I AM TO BANISHING YOU TO MAKAI!"

"You wouldn't do that. You'd lose two detective's assistants and a detective."

"Huh?"

Shadow pointed at Hiei and Eclipse. "You know Hiei would never listen to you again if you got rid of me. And Eclipse... well, if she didn't come along voluntarily then I guess she's not my best friend."

Eclipse's jaw dropped. "That's not nice! So you're saying if you went to Makai and I didn't want to, then I'm not your best friend? Makai is a really sucky place, you know. Not a lot of people would go there voluntarily, unless they were powerful demons."

"I know it's a sucky place. There's all kinds of demons there, and they kill, and steal, and take hostages and slaves and kill and steal and rape and... kill... did I mention kill already?" Shadow said. Eclipse nodded. "The point is... Koenma, CLEAN UP YOUR OFFICE AND HELP HIEI!"

_"This could be a while,"_ Youko muttered. Hiei sighed.

"Shadow, you know what? I don't have time for this," Koenma said. "I would help Hiei if I could, but at the moment, I can't. I have people working on ideas, but they really aren't doing too well with that. Now go home and... I don't know. Get molested or something..."

"KOENMA!!! Don't say that. Youko might take it literally," Hiei said.

"Aw, Hiei, I didn't know you cared," Shadow said sarcastically.

"I care about me, being trapped inside that freakazoid's head."

_"Well how the hell do you think I feel?!"_

_"~Sigh~."_

"Okay, look. I apologize for my rudeness, but I can't help Hiei personally. If you _really_ want him back to normal, go talk to the science department or something..." Koenma said.

"You have a science department here?"

"No, but surely there's somebody here who has time they can spare."

"You are a truly worthless Prince of Reikai, Enma Junior," Shadow said coldly. She dragged her little group out of his office.

[[A/N: Blah! I just had an awful perverted thought of why Koenma could have been being so bitchy, but I'm not making my story a shounen ai. *sweatdrop*]]

...Anyway...

"I can't believe that stupid midget! He's such a loser," Shadow said. She continued rambling as she led the group down the hall. Kurama trailed behind her.

"Surely there's something we can do. I'm sure Youko has some ideas," he said, glancing back at Hiei. Hiei stopped and blinked.

_"Well?"_ he prompted the fox. 

_"Well what?"_

_"You know full well 'well what,' baka fox!"_

_"Urk. I'm sure I could think of something if I tried hard enough."_

_"Well then TRY!"_

_"*incoherent grumbles*"_

"He says he probably could think of something if he tried hard enough."

"Well then he'd better start TRYING!" Shadow screamed, right into Hiei's ear.

"Ow... You know, he hears everything I do, so it's not like you gotta be inside my head for him to hear you..."

"I don't CARE. I'm mad!"

"Well that's perfectly understandable," Kurama said. "I'm sure Hiei's mad too. Aren't you, Hiei?"

"What? Mad? Oh, no, not at all," he said sarcastically. "And Youko's just peachy too."

"Wat?"

"Huh?"

"You were being sarcastic, right?"

"No, of course not, Shadow."

"You weren't? I'm confused!"

"Yes. I was. Shut up."

"Oh. Okay!"

And with that, Shadow skipped down the hall.

"That girl has some serious mood swings..." Hiei muttered. Kurama and Eclipse both agreed and the three followed after the happy skippy girl. She stopped suddenly.

"Why am I so happy? I'm **mad. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...** You know what I think we should do? I think we should whip Koenma. Yeah... Or maybe string him up by his eyelids with fishing line..."

"Oh, gross!" Eclipse gagged, covering her mouth. Kurama and Hiei were suddenly a very pale shade of green.

"...or cut open his back and--"

"NOT THAT! No, don't even say that one!" Eclipse said, lunging and covering Shadow's mouth.

"Hmmf?"

"Shut up."

"Hm hmfm falki!!!"

"Eh?"

"I wasn't talking, fool!"

Eclipse sighed, grabbed Shadow's ear, and dragged her down the hall kicking and screaming.

Back at home, the group dispersed and moped around the house for a while. Several hours, at least. Until dinner time. For some reason, they all seemed to know the second the thought popped into Shadow's head: "I don't wanna make dinner."

"What's for dinner, Shadow?" Eclipse asked.

"Fneh."

"Wussat?"

"A foreign dish consisting of bat's eyes and frog livers."

"Yeck!"

And Eclipse ran away. Kurama walked in.

"Hey, Shadow," he said. "You making dinner?"

"Bananas and apples."

"Knowing you..."

"Yes, I mean that in a bad way."

"Okay! Never mind. I just lost my appetite," Kurama said. He walked away. Shadow wandered into the kitchen and poured a glass of orange soda. She was chugging it when Hiei walked in.

"What's for--"

"THE CREATURE THAT DWELLS INSIDE THE EMPTY PIZZA BOX! MUWAHAHAHA!"

"Never mind," Hiei said in an oddly high-pitched voice. He turned and made a hasty retreat down the hall and around the corner.

_"She didn't seem happy..."_

_"No, really?"_

Hiei found Kurama and dragged him into the kitchen. "Fix dinner."

"What?"

Shadow stood there holding her bottle of orange soda and her glass with a confused look of innocence on her face.

"You heard me. And besides, anything you make has got to be better than Shadow's cooking. I don't know how I've lived through it for two years."

There was a reverberating _clang_ as Shadow slammed Hiei in the head with a cast-iron skillet. The fire demon fell to the floor with a thud.

"AND _YOU_!" Shadow said, rounding on Kurama. "IF YOU DON'T FIX DINNER, YOU'LL GET THE SAME TREATMENT!"

Kurama's eyes widened slightly and he went about making some dinner. Odd how threats can get you anything (well, at least they can if you're name is Shadow Jaganshi and you're holding an iron skillet).

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Woohoo, well now it's official. I have writing talent. I took a test on the computer from a link my English teacher gave me, cuz I said I wanted to be an author, so she gave me this link to this Institute for Children's Literature or something like that, and I took the writing aptitude test, and I got a letter back finally saying that I have talent or whatever… I knew that a long time ago, thanks to all the people who praise me… and also the grades I get on my essays and crap in English. See, this test, you take it and if you pass, then you can enroll for this class that's done completely through mail and phone and emails and stuff, but the only problem with that is, my mother doesn't want to spend the $600 it costs… I might still get to take it, though.


	5. Happy Chappy

This chapter is disgustingly short. **BUT AT LEAST BE HAPPY I UPDATED, DAMMIT! [Last update: 4-24-04]** I haven't updated anything since April something! At least a month ago, I think, and that's BAD! But I wrote this on a "New Episode of Yu Yu Hakusho!" high, so it's kinda odd. REVIEWS! (Thank you all so much for waiting and not coming to my house and tearing out my heart for making you wait... I'm sure you were tempted.)

**Robin Autumn-** Heh, oops. Slow update again.

**nutari-** I'll think about it, but I tend not to torture people in my stories. It upsets the readers. (obviously it doesn't bother _you_...)

**chocogurl-** singsong Threats are good, threats are cool, let's sing a song about threats!

**WhiteFox88-** I write more. In the form of a disgustingly short chapter... With a corny name.

**Yumi & Suomi-** Well that was interesting...

**kaida13-** My mother can predict when I'm going to ask what's for dinner. It's just like: Me- "What's for--" Mom-"FOOD!" Me-"OO okee dokee."

**Mari Youma-** I'm making a mini career out of writing short stories for my friends for their birthdays. Screwed up short stories, yes, quite. Enough to make my friend's mother think I'm more insane than she already knows I am. I summed up 8 years of friendship in two pages with plenty of extra insanity and attitude. 'Tone," as English teachers call it.

**Riyo Shiban-** I'm still in desperate need of ideas for how to get them back to normal. Could you re-explain that? Cuz my mind is in la-la land and always is and will be, so I really have no clue what you said.

**SilentDark-** Did I send you the address of that test? Because I don't know. I sent it to somebody. If you still want the address (if I didn't tell you it), ask again.

**kitsune klepto-** Shadow is plenty insane in this short chapter. Yes quite. Love it.

**Black Cat-** My goal for life is to become an author/artist and live in the middle of no where so that nobody can come and bother me because of my wonderful work. No publicity for me. Only my best friends, my publisher/agent/whatever person, and the small demonic animals that will gaurd my house will know where I live. And perhaps the occasional maniacal escaped/escaping criminal that decides a house in the middle of no where is a good place to hold an author hostage and hide out for months until the cops forget about him.

**Draikitha-** Good, I'm glad. I mean... YOU DAMN WELL BETTER LOVE IT, OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF... um... A FRYING PAN WEILDING LUNATIC GIRL! MUWAHAHAHA! I'm good. strolls away

**Okami Youkai-** ROCK ON!!! makes rock on symbol with hand WOOHOO! singsong Everybody loves me, nobody hates me, not gonna go eat worms! Everybody hates me, nobody loves me, still not gonna eat worms! I cause conflicting emotions, my lovers try to kill me, maybe now I'll eat them worms.

**I'm loving this QuickEdit deal. It's simpler than having to delete and re-upload stuff if I find mistakes.**

**

* * *

**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Happy Chappy!

_Yes, Fear the chapter with the cheezy name! Muwahahahahahaha!_

"I'm in a happy, happy moooood! I'm in a happy singy mood! HAPPY! SING-Y! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!"

Eclipse poked her head out of her bedroom as Shadow danced by singing.

"Hello, incredibly tired-looking person!" Shadow said cheerfully, stopping. "Are you in a good mood? Because I am!"

"Good God. Who did you spend the night with?" Eclipse said. The words were out before she realized she'd said them. It was a common thing for her to say to cheerful people outside of her little group of friends, and she wasn't in the greatest mood. It just came out.

Luckily for her, Shadow hadn't noticed.

"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" she squealed, spinning down the hall and slamming into the wall. "Oh look! I went the wrong way! The stairs are this way!" She spun away, back past Eclipse's door, and finally stopped spinning when she ran out of momentum outside Kurama's bedroom door. Swaying, she fell over and slammed her head into the door.

"What's going on?" Kurama popped his head out and looked down at Shadow, who was trying to catch the birdies that apparently were flying around her head.

"Must catch birdy! Pretty birdy! Pretty, pretty little birdy!" she sang, snatching at the empty air in front of her. Kurama stared a moment longer before looking up and down the hall for a source of her insanity. He spotted Eclipse and gave her a questioning look. She shrugged. At that precise moment, none other than Youko walked out of Shadow's bedroom. Upon spotting the fox, Eclipse nearly screamed.

_Maybe she _did_ sleep with somebody!!!_ she thought.__

Kurama was slightly confused. "Youko? What were you doing in there? Where's Hiei?"

"Hiei's fine, don't fret."

_"Oh I'm fine, am I? Youko Kurama, I swear I am going to hurt you."_

_"You're fine. Shut up."_

_"Snarl."_

"Yes. He's quite peachy," Youko decided, bringing more complaining from Hiei.

"So, Tall Scary Fox-Man, what were you doing in Shadow's bedroom, and are you the source of her good mood?"

"Good mood?" Youko asked with a smile, looking at Shadow, who was still clawing wildly at the air and screaming at the birdies not to go away.

"She ran into a door," Kurama said calmly. "But before that she was in an unnervingly good mood for this hour of the morning. When you had been in her room."

"Well..." Youko didn't have a chance to answer. Shadow's mind floated back into her body as the birdies vanished. She looked at Youko's knees, then slowly turner her head up to his face, at least six feet above her.

"Hullo," she said with a stupid smile characteristic to only her. "How're you?"

_"YOUKO! Hello, stop staring...!"_

_"Did you see that? She isn't hating me."_

_"That's nice. She'd like you better if you were back inside Shuichi's head."_

_"Whatever, Jaganshi."_

_"Don't you 'whatever' me, stupid fox!"_

_"Whatever."_

_"Argh!"_

Kurama and Eclipse were a little suspicious as well. She wasn't flipping out. Eclipse's mind was screaming "KICK HER! KICK HIM! KICK THEM BOTH! IT'S SCARY! TAKE A FRYING PAN TO THEIR HEADS! Yeah... Fun... Muwahahaha..."

"So... What _is_ going on, Youko?" Kurama asked.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," the fox answered.

"Nothing's going on," Shadow agreed. "I'm just in an excruciatingly happy mood."

"Why?"

"Well, Youko has been thinking--I know, that's unhealthy--and he's come up with a very incredible-sounding solution to this wonderful little problem we have here. We were up all night talking about it," Shadow said.

_"Yeah. I've been in your damn little head for hours, fox. Don't you think it's time you let me have my body back? Please?"_

"Wait, are you serious?!" Kurama asked.

"Like I said, it sounds incredible, but he explained every single detail to me. In detail. Very detailed details, that made it so confusing, he had to explain it to me without any details, and then it was so simple he had to explain it to me very slowly in detailed details. Then I understood it somewhat, but I think you really should go over with with Koenma," Shadow said. "He's smart."

"In a manner of speaking," Youko said.

_"You're not going over anything with anyone until I'm back to being myself, please, Youko, because I'm kind of going a little... hm... PSYCHO in your head."_

_"Fine. Damn, Hiei, take a chill pill..."_

"Guys, you'll have to put up with Hiei up to Reikai, because he's insisting that my mind is something horrible and he can't stand it there. I really don't see--"

_"FOX!"_

"Fine. Jeez." Youko released his control on Hiei and instantly the demon transformed. Hiei appeared in the fox's place, his eyes wide and maniacal.

"I hate that man," he said flatly. "Let's go."

"Where?"

"REIKAI, YOU--"

"Before you finish that insult," Kurama said loudly, cutting Hiei off. He continued more quietly, "you may have noticed that all of us are still in our pajamas."

Hiei couldn't say that he had noticed before, but now he did. Kurama, Shadow, and Eclipse were in their pajamas. He wasn't, as Youko had dragged him down to Shadow's room before he'd even thought of going to bed (at one in the morning).

"You could give us some time to change and shower, then we can go to Reikai, okay?" Kurama suggested.

Hiei let out some incoherent snarls and grumbles before heading down the hall to the stairs. He stomped down them and there was a loud string of curses as he out of nowhere decided he should be going back up to his room rather than downstairs, and he turned and darted back up them. The trio watched curiously before Shadow shrugged and went into her room. The other two followed her example.

There was a bloody battle between Eclipse and Shadow over which would get the first-floor shower, since Hiei was using the third floor shower (wouldn't you love to see that) and the second floor bathroom had the trio of singing shoes (refer to "A Letter From The Bedroom"). By the time they had finished arguing, Kurama had taken his shower, Hiei had taken his shower, and both floors were open. Eclipse managed to lock the door in Shadow's face, forcing the girl to go all the way up to the third floor.

A good while later, after the group had rounded up Yusuke and Kuwabaka, they headed to Reikai.

"Come on, Hiei, you should be glad to let Youko take you over again! This could be your last time experiencing the feeling of being trapped inside him!" Shadow said cheerfully when Hiei was reluctant to allow Youko out. Hiei couldn't completely block Youko's transformation, but apparently he'd been able to control Youko enough that it would cause them both pain for Youko to take him over.

_"Think about it, Hiei. I have to talk to Koenma. After I'm done explaining my idea to him, we might be able to put it into action, and you'll never have to hear my voice in your head again. Come on."_

"Fine. Damn persuasive logical fox. Damn persuasive lo... not quite logical demon girl."

A second later, Youko Kurama was standing in front of them all in Koenma's office.

"Yes, very good. Now..."

Youko proceeded to talk for several hours on the subject of spiritual placement and fusing and fun stuff in the general vicinity of that subject.

* * *

**Good Lord, if you have any ideas of what Youko's plan can be… TELL ME, because I'm a clueless fool. Like I said, it was written on a YYH high, and that gets me insanity but not much thoughtfulness. I hope I can update faster next time, and 'm sure I will. Only ten more days of school as of now (We get out 5-28-04)**


	6. Short Stuff

**Look, I can draw a stick figure! 0-l- Sideways!  
One of my many muses escaped the asylum and got ahold of my reviews. He refers to himself in third person, don't worry, it's okay. He's harmless, really... Just a little odd...**

**Celebrindae-** Story no end just yet, no no. Authoress has decided to drag on story longer. Is Celebrindae happy now?  
**Okami Youkai-** Cool art, says Authoress.  
**Draikitha-** Okay, Authoress has been horribly scarred for all of eternity. Draikitha has some odd ideas which horribly frighten poor authoress and her slave. (Authoress horribly mauls her slave for telling about authoress's slave.)  
**Dark Dragon34-** Clueless Foolishness is good. Good for health of Dark Dragon34, yes.  
**Meg-** 'Itai' is a exclamation of pain. Authoress injures slave often and makes him say that. (Authoress horribly mauls slave again for referring to himself as a slave)  
**Sillyningengirl-** How very silly. (Authoress mauls again) Err... Slave means, 'that's an interesting idea.' (gets mauled again)  
**kaida13-** Not seen Kanna in Inuyasha... Can't use idea since has no idea what is. That make sense?  
**What2callmyself-** Assuming you didn't get to read chappie before birthday? Apparently you get to read chappie after birthday. That idea isn't bad. Authoress likes idea. Might use. Might not. You shall see in future chapters.  
**Mari Youma-** Authoress is extremely happy about getting out of school. She had party at friend's house and got married. (Again is mauled for saying such things. Authoress gains control of reviews) Sorry! That's a really, really long story. I was with my best friends and a lot of insanity happens in that situation. And before I am brutally murdered, this muse is not my slave, though he refers to himself as such. (Authoress is mauled and her slave parties for he has one something for once in his life) BAD AUTHORESS SHALL NOT STEAL THE PRECIOUS! (does not own Lord of the Rings.)  
**koshin-** Ooh, 'nother interesting idea, we shall see about this one too.  
**Black Cat-** You know where Youko and Kuronue are? Authoress shall hunt you down and interrogate you, that she shall.  
**whowhenwhatever-** Lucky you, it shall not end just yet. Is this confused person happy now?  
**Riyo Shiban-** Authoress was hoping not to have to use them, but it is another possibility.  
**SilentDark-** Oh, no, six days is a horribly long time. You shall be punished. (Authoress mauls slave again) Oh, no, Authoress says six days is not long and you shall not be punished. You are lucky one.  
**nutari-** Authoress has had eyes clawed out before and says it is not fun. Thanks go to you for not furthering her pain.  
**BarOhki-** It is possibility. Authoress thinks. She shall see.

**OH MY GOD, THAT STUPID MUSE IS RETARDED! Sorry if the replies to your reviews were a little strange, I told you I couldn't get to them before the muse did... Anyway, here's the story. I'll lock up the muse so he doesn't scare you anymore.**

> **CHAPTER SIX  
**Short Stuff

"Well... At least now Youko's out of his head..." Yusuke said.

The group stood looking at the three unconscious bodies before them. Youko's plan had gotten him out of Hiei's mind and into his own body. That wasn't helping Shuichi, though, because he was still quite human and that was not what the intentions of the plan had been.

"Yeah, but... Now he's Youko... And he's out... And he has nobody to control him..." Shadow said thoughtfully. "And I'm going to die."

"Oh, come on, look on the bright side! Physical restraints work just as well as mental ones!" Eclipse said cheerfully.

"Oh, what, I'm supposed to chain him up or something?"  
Eclipse shrugged. "That'd work."

"Baka," Shadow said. _(A/N: Wow, it's been ages since I put Japanese in my stories! I think. I don't remember writing that since I wrote "Kuwabaka" in the last chapter)_ "In order to chain him up I'd have to be stronger than him."

"What, but I thought women were superior!" Koenma added.

"Shut up, Junior, we don't need your two cents worth!" Shadow said coldly.

"Just trying to help out."

"What, by saying I'm weak?"

"I never said that."

"INDIRECTLY YOU DID, SHORT STUFF!"

"I'm not short!"

"Not right now you aren't, but naturally you are, you stupid 600-YEAR-OLD MIDGET-BABY!"

"I'm sorry mommy..." Koenma said, cowering.

"**I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER! GO CRY TO _YUSUKE_!**"

"YUSUKE, I WANT MY MOMMY!" Koenma bawled.

A groan from Kurama shut them all up. His eyes blinked open and he looked around.

"Strange how the human wakes up before the demons..." Koenma muttered.

"Huh?" Kurama said.

"Good afternoon, Kurama. You're still human," Shadow said.

"I know... What happened?"

"Youko's plan didn't work completely," she said.

"Wha...?" He noticed Youko lying on a bed nearby. "Oh. Crap."

"Yeah, crap is a nice five letter word to describe this situation," Shadow said.

"Well, yes, it would be, except that 'crap' only has four letters," Eclipse pointed out.

"I know. That's what I said. It's got five letters."

"Four, Shadow."

"I know! It's got five letters! What, do you think I'm incompetent? That I can't count? C-R-A-P. That's FIVE!"

"NO IT'S--"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE IN DENIAL!"

"No I'm not."

"SEE?"

"Witch."

"Shnergle."

"What?"

"I said--"

Koenma cleared his throat suddenly and both girls clamped their mouths shut and looked at him. "Could we talk more about the problem at hand than how many letters are in 'crap?'"

"There's five," Shadow said triumphantly.

"**SHUT UP!**"

"Yessir."

"Now... This plan really backfired. You two were supposed to end up in your normal fused state. But you didn't. It messed up and Youko's himself."

"Maybe he did it intentionally," Shadow said suddenly. "Are they okay?"

"What? Major change of topic there girl," Yusuke said.

"I mean, isn't it a little odd that he woke up first? He's a human, after all. Humans are like... supposed to be like... weaker than demons, aren't they? So they would have woke up before him, right? So why didn't they?"

"Oh my god. It's a miracle. Shadow had a logical thought!" Eclipse said. "LET US REJOICE!"

And she was promptly clobbered over the head by Shadow and some brass knuckles she'd found somewhere that happened to fit her hand perfectly, so the logical conclusion is that she probably found them in her pocket and they were hers.

**BUT ENOUGH LOGIC!**

Koenma examined Hiei and Youko only to find...  
**THEY WERE IN HORRIBLE CONDITION AND THEIR LIFE ENERGIES WERE MELTING AWAY AND THEY WERE GONNA...** be perfectly fine. Because they both happened to magically wake up a few minutes into his examinations, life energies perfectly intact and not showing any signs of going anywhere.

Youko took one look at himself, then on his left and right, and let out an extremely un-Youko-like whoop.

"I'M FREE! COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY FREE!"

"Don't get your hopes up," Koenma said. Youko narrowed his gold eyes.

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean, short stuff?"

"I'M NOT SHORT!"

"CHILDREN, GET ALONG!" Shadow yelled. Youko's eyes fell on her and she had a sudden urge to run away, so that's exactly what she did.

"Ahhhhhhh!" she screamed dryly, running away. She smacked right into a wall, looked at it, and ran the opposite direction.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Then she spotted Youko. "Ahhhhhhh!" The wall. "Ahhhhhhh!"

Then she ran into Hiei and fell over, you know, because he's such a giant obstacle and blocks her path so bad that if she took a detour around him it'd be weeks before she reached her destination. Which happened to be right on the other side of him, but she didn't know that because she's a clueless fool, so she turned and crawled wildly in the other direction and ran into a wall, didn't have enough sense to crawl the other way, backed up, ran into the wall again, backed up, ran into the wall again, backed up...  
This went on for quite some time and all it accomplished was a dent in the wall. Poor wall.

"Do something with that girl, will you Hiei?" Koenma said.

"What? Why me?"

"Because you know more about her than we do. What can make her stop?"

"A kick in the head," Hiei answered. "Or at least, that'll confuse her and she might turn away from the wall. It won't hurt her brain because she doesn't have one. If she used speed it'd probably slow down her body systems instead of speeding them up, because she's just a really fucked up little girl."

"LANGUAGE! I HEAR PROFANITY!" Shadow screamed suddenly, lunging at Hiei. He sidestepped and she ran into Youko. Then she was traumatized for life, and it was awful.

But nobody cared.

Because she wasn't really traumatized for life.

This girl can only be traumatized for as long as she remembers the incident, and with her five-minute memory span, that's not very long.

This incident just kept her out of the way for five minutes while she sat in the corner feeling traumatized.

Four minutes and fifty seconds into her traumatizedness, Koenma decided there was no way he could think of anything to solve their problem at the current moment. Declaring this to the rest of them took four seconds. They all ended up back at Shadow's house four minutes and fifty-six seconds after her initial traumatization.

"Soo... What're we gonna do now?" Eclipse asked. Shadow looked at Youko.

"HIDE!" She grabbed a leaf off a nearby houseplant, crouched down, and put it on her head. Two seconds passed and she looked confused.

"Why have I got a leaf on my head?" she asked, standing up. Everybody sweatdropped and let out an exasperated groan. Shadow grabbed the leaf, looked at it for a second, and then stuffed it in her mouth. "Must've been saving it for my lunch." Then she skipped out the door, into the yard, and sat in the 11-inch-high grass that hadn't been cut once yet that year.

"What's her problem?" Yusuke said cluelessly.

They watched as Shadow pulled a dandelion out of the forest of grass and cheerfully said, "Mommy had a baby and its head popped off!" She popped the head off the dandelion, then looked very thoughtful. "What a cruel woman!"

**NOW TIME FOR MANY A/N's. See, me puts A/N's at end of chapter so people not have to scroll through many long ramblings of mine to reach story. And because I don't remember them until the end. **

See, it's not just called "Short Stuff" because they use that label repeatedly through the chapter, it's called that because the chapter is so damn short. . I dunno. For some reason I just thought this'd be a nice place to stop it, just so I could get it posted today. I mean… Summarize the chapter: 'Youko's plan didn't work. They went back to Shadow's house.' Yup. That's all that happened. Oh well. It was a chapter that explained how I got out of thinking up an explanation for how he got back in Shuichi's head. I'm so cheap.

My best friend (the person who made up Eclipse... kinda) is a very encouraging person, you know that? After she read this chapter, she swiveled the swivelly computer chair around, looked up at me with eyebrows raised at the surprising stupidity of this chapter and she just plainly said, "You have problems."   
And of course, I cheerfully agreed.

Oh, and I have a new chapter of the 'sun sand and surf' story written (title of story too long and tedious to type...), but I'm not ready to post it yet because I wanna get the next chapter written to see if my ideas in those two chapters will get me anywhere, so... It's the story updated the longest time ago, so people are probably getting sick of waiting... I think... I dunno. Well if you're sick of waiting, guess what you get to do? JUST WAIT A LITTLE LONGER! Learn some patience! Jeez! .

Until next time! Ta!


	7. Tis the Evil Aura of Doom

**I update! It's only been like a month and a half on this one.**

**C.C.C-** No soon update, but update late. But update I did so proud you be! Yoda I talk like though own him I do not.  
**Okami Youkai-** KILL YOURSELF YOU SHOULD NOT! Continue reading you should, but kill yourself you should not.  
**whowhenwhatever-** You wait much then, that you do. But you wait no more, that you don't. Now I'm talking like Kenshin, not Yoda... ::bludgeons herself:: HOW ABOUT I TALK LIKE _MYSELF!_ Heh heh heh. I can do that, too...  
**Cathair92-** What the hell do you mean by hentai? Like perverted jokes and stuff? Cuz I do perverted, just not extreme stuff. Did you mean stuff like yaoi, or lemon, or PORN? Cuz I don't do that shit. If you wanted me to, go away. If you don't want me to, keep reading.  
**Yukaii the Ruthless-** I think I've been there... I dunno.  
**Garent Gurl-** There's something wrong with you... **O.o** No offense, cuz there's a lot wrong with me... Lots of somethings.  
**Bar-Ohki-** This chapter IS insanity. I just wrote random things that came into my mind...  
**i forgot-** You forgot your name? So did I. Anyway, I dunno how long this story will be... What did you mean by "go even further" or whatever you said?  
**Draikitha-** Well I'm glad to hear about your... "patience."  
**Mari Youma-** Yeah, well now that it's the end of July, I should hope everybody's out of school... Unless they have summer classes. That'd suck. I updated "sand, surf, or what ever" just a couple days or week or so ago... Didn't I?  
**SilentDark-** Improvise... That's a big word. Im-pro-vize... That's three syllables. It is officially, by rule of Shadow, a big word (three syllables and up are big words).  
**Kai Indomisha-** You can't wait? Well, pity, cuz you had to wait a bit, didn't you... ::bawls:: OH, WOE IS UPON US ALL!!! Sorry. I'm okay now.  
**nutari-** The story is coming together?! Ha! This chapter is just full of randomness and adds nothing to the plot whatsoever...  
**kaida13-** I have like, half a million muses, but that doesn't mean they're all used frequently... They live inside my head... And eat jelly beans... Often...  
**Dark Dragon34-** I read some story once about Hiei having too much sugar and he thought he had an army of sporks... It was a weird story. I don't remember what it was called or who wrote it though.  
**WhiteFox88-** Your "pathetic excuse for a brain," eh? At least you have somehting you can call a brain... I have nothing but little people and dust bunnies in my head. They ate my brain. And therefore I have no idea how they're gonna get Youko back in Shuichi's body...  
**Yumi-** It may be fun, but it would be really bad for Shadow, Koenma, and the poor weak ningens... And anybody who happened to challenge him to a game of poker.  
**Shessha's Crazy-** Random surfer dude was in the vacation story. Aren't we happy? Why would he appear in this story...? He's on the beach surfing with his random surfer dudette girlfriend... Unless they broke up without telling me.  
**KumiHatari-** Rightio... -cough-nuts-coughcough- Eclipse told me I'm a coconut... She's mean. ::sob::

**CHAPTER SEVEN  
**'Tis the Evil Aura of Doom

Shadow, Youko, Hiei, and Eclipse sat around a poker table, staring over each others' cards at the person on the opposite side of the table. Shadow had a toothpick hanging out of the corner of her mouth, Hiei's eyes were half-lidded with sleep, Eclipse was drooling as she daydreamed about the ice cream she'd seen in the freezer but had been forbidden from touching, and Youko was staring at Shadow and wondering if she the toothpick she was chewing on had some kind of appeal, and if he should try eating toothpicks. Kurama was sitting on the couch spinning a pencil between his fingers and thinking of how much school he was missing because of all this, as he had not been allowed to attend school by the rule of Koenma.

"Raise."

"Call."

"Fold."

"Ergle ergle ergle..."

"What?"

"She's drooling, ignore her."

"Ah."

"ECLIPSE, SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"Ergle?"

Thud.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You're drooling all over my poker table, fool!"

"I'm hungry..."

"TOO BAD!"

"I want my mommy..."

"Then go home."

"What, at two in the morning?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Wah!"

"CALL, RAISE, OR FOLD?"

"F--- YOU!"

"DIE, FOOL!"

Shadow lunged at Eclipse, nearly knocking the table over in the process, and strangled her.

"ACK!"

"DIE! MUWAHAHAHA!"

"AAAACK!"

"Children, the game of poker should not involve violence," Youko said. Shadow looked up and screamed.

"BLAAAAAH! IT'S A TALKING FOX-MAN! CALL THE CIRCUS!"

"Shadow, shut up," Kurama said.

Shadow stared at him. "Shut up, you _leprechaun_!"

Kurama quirked an eyebrow. "May I ask _why_ I'm a leprechaun?"

"You've got red hair, haven't you?"

"Yeeeah... But... What's that got to--"

"So you're Irish! And Irish people are leprechauns!"

"Odd reasoning you've got, Shadow," Hiei said.

"Reason? What's that?"

"... Had you noticed that you've still got your hands wrapped around Eclipse's throat?" Youko asked curiously.

"Nope. Hadn't noticed," Shadow said, looking at Eclipse with raised eyebrows.

"Are you gonna let go of her? I think she's stopped breathing," Hiei said.

Eclipse was lying there with swirly eyes, her tongue hanging out of her mouth, and a bluish tint to her skin.

"I think she stopped breathing a _while_ ago..." Kurama said, poking her with the eraser end of a pencil. Her head flopped to one side lifelessly.

"I do believe I may have just killed Eclipse," Shadow said with a British accent.

"I'M NOT DEAD YOU WHORE!" Eclipse screamed suddenly, knocking Shadow to the floor and strangling her.

"Aaaaaaaaaack..."

Eclipse shook her back and forth by her neck.

"Agh, agh, agh!"

"What's with these girls? I thought it was supposed to be guys who were ignorant and showed friendliness through friendly violence...?" Hiei said.

"Yeah... But that's not very friendly..." Youko pointed out.

"How very true," Kurama agreed.

"I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD, LET GO!" Shadow hollered.

"DEAD PEOPLE CAN'T TALK!"

"WELL _YOU_ WERE DEAD AND _YOU_ TALKED! IN FACT, YOU'RE DEAD RIGHT NOW! DEAD PEOPLE CAN'T STRANGLED PEOPLE EITHER!"

"I am? They can't? Oh God!" Eclipse abruptly collapsed and lay there with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

"Ergle ergle ergle..."

"Are you still alive?" Kurama asked Shadow. She looked up at him sharply.

"DO I LOOK ALIVE, LEPRECHAUN?!"

"Well you just talked so obviously you're not dead, and would you please stop calling me a leprechaun?"

"Well Eclipse strangled me when _she_ was dead, so I can talk when I'm dead, and what else am I supposed to call you now that you're not a FOX anymore? _Goldylocks_?"

"I don't have gold hair, Shadow..."

"EXACTLY! So you're a damn leprechaun! Stop complaining!"

"Well if I'm a leprechaun and Youko's a fox, what's Hiei?"

"A psychotic pyromaniacal midget!"

"I'M NOT A MIDGET!"

"You're shorter than _me_, aren't you? Not including your stupid hair?"

"Like, by a couple inches! And Eclipse is even shorter than _me_, so what's that make _her_?"

"NON-EXISTENT!"

"What about you?!"

"I'm _perfect_."

All three boys exploded with laughter.

"IN. YOUR. DREAMS," Hiei managed. Shadow glared.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, MIDGET? THAT I'M NOT PERFECT? HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING? WELL LET ME TELL YOU... I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME YOUR FACE MET MY STEEL-TOED BOOTS!"

And Hiei was sent spiraling across the room through the air until he finally slammed into a wall, face-first. He stuck out of it at a 90 degree angle for a second before dropping straight to the floor with a loud thud.

"Owww..."

"Shut up! You're dead!" Shadow snapped, pointing at him. Then she turned to the fox and his human ex-other-self. "You guys wanna meet my boots? HUH? HUH? DO YA?"

"No, ma'am," they both said.

"I'm glad," Shadow said, smiling. "You're both very smart children."

Kurama looked at Youko.

"Kind of tall for a child, isn't he?"

"Shut up, leprechaun! How many times do I have to tell you? You want me to bludgeon you? You wanna end up like Hiei?!" She pointed to the twitching black-clad lump on the floor.

"No ma'am!" Kurama said, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender, a little halo appearing over his head.

"Good boy," Shadow said, petting him on the head.

Well, a good half hour later, Shadow was sleeping on the couch, drooling, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as she mumbled incoherently about cheesecake, when Hiei and Eclipse finally recovered and got up. Both of them somehow became armed with baseball bats. They stalked towards Shadow's sleeping, drooling, muttering form.

"On three," Hiei said. "One..."

"Two..." Eclipse muttered, grinning evilly and bringing her bat up above her head.

"THREE!" Hiei shouted. They both pummeled Shadow.

"OH MY GOD! I'M BEING PAINFULLY ASSAULTED BY DEAD PEOPLE!" she managed between hits.

Kurama and Youko barely glanced up from their poker game.

"That's nice," Youko said absently, taking all of Kurama's poker chips. "You do know you owe me about $4,000 dollars right now, don't you, Mr. Minamino?"

"I'm aware of that," Kurama replied dryly.

"HELP ME, YOU SADISTIC BASTARDS! YOU STUPID LEPRECHAUNIC FOX PEOPLE! CURSE YOU! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!"

"Shut up!" Eclipse snapped, whacking Shadow across the face with her baseball bat.

"Owww..." Shadow said, falling of the couch, where Hiei and Eclipse proceeded to kick her back and forth.

"Such violence. You children should not be watching this," Youko said, pulling a fold-out fan out of his shirt and flipping it open to block the view of the horrible beating.

Now, because of Youko's concern for the 'children' of fanfiction-reading world, he only has one hand with which to play poker, and therefore can not cheat properly. Kurama promptly won back all the poker chips and they decided to call it even because "In the end, cheaters never win."

Then again, it's supposed that winners never lose, and losers never win, but how much sense does that make, really, if you think about it? (NOOO! Don't bother thinking about it, I don't want my precious readers to DIE! Then I might be considered a murderer, and I'd get locked away because of it and I wouldn't be able to complete my stories and my world domination would go unfinished! ALL BECAUSE YOU HAD TO GO AND THINK, DAMMIT!)

Now _Shadow_ was the one lying in a bruised and battered and drooling heap on the floor. Pity.

The doorbell rang. Hiei went to answer it and found Koenma standing there.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Well, I think I need to talk to Youko. It's been a day or so since he got separated and I haven't had a chance to talk to him."

"... What's so greatly important that you need to talk to him?"

"You see, I'm not really sure there will be a way to put him back in the human body he's been in for the past sixteen, nearly seventeen years, so--"

"**WHAT?**"

Shadow came flying over the back of the couch, past Hiei, and slammed into Koenma, knocking him to his back and causing him to slide backwards and roll down the stairs. They ended up in the yard, Shadow pinning Koenma and holding the front of his shirt.

**"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO WAY TO PUT HIM BACK? YOU'D BETTER THINK OF SOMETHING! I'LL KILL YOU AND HIM BOTH IF YOU DON'T! I WILL! YOU WATCH ME! I'LL PUT YOUR DEAD CORPSES IN THAT GRAVEYARD I MADE IN THE WOODS FOR ALL THE SKELETONS AND CORPSES I'VE FOUND IN MY HOUSE OR PUT THERE OR CAUSED TO BE THERE! YOU'LL BE DEAD AND I WON'T CARE IN THE FREAKING LEAST BECAUSE YOU'RE A SADISTIC BASTARD, YOU KNOW THAT, AND IF YOU DON'T FIND A WAY TO PUT THAT PERVERT BACK, AND I END UP BEARING SOME FREAKING FOX SPIRIT FIRE DEMON HUMAN HYBRID CHILD, YOU'LL BE THE ONE TO SUFFER, KOENMA, YOU KNOW THAT, YOU WILL PAY FOR IT WITH SOMETHING VERY DEAR TO YOUR PANSY LITTLE SELF! YOU HEAR ME?"**

"... I heard you, Shadow, and I think they probably heard you all the way up in Reikai, too..." Koenma muttered, his voice seeming barely audible next to Shadow's explosion, although he was talking his normal volume.

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other," Shadow said cheerfully, standing up. Koenma caught her ankle.

"What did you mean by 'all the skeletons and corpses I've found in my house or put there or caused to be there?'" he asked, his eyes narrowed.

"I mean that I made a graveyard in the forest. When I clean out the weasels' room about one every two or three months, whatever's left in there, I put in the graveyard. Anybody I happen to find dead due to the pure horridness of my house, like burg-a-liz or thief-iz that got inside but got attacked by the evil aura of doom that lives in the closet, I drag them into the forest and put them in the graveyard. Anybody I should happen to brutally murder and slice up to put in the wall but decide not to at the last minute, they go in the graveyard. It's all part of the triangle of life. Everybody's life ends with Shadow sooner or later..." Shadow explained simply.

"You mean some day you're gonna kill _me_?" Hiei asked dryly, pointing to himself.

"I'd never kill you, Hiei, unless it was because of too much s--"

"OH GOD, OKAY SHADOW, don't finish that sentence!" Koenma yelped.

"I was just gonna say, uh... Because of too much, uh... sugar in his coffee, yeah, that's it," Shadow said, nodding vigorously, muttering "Yeah, uh-huh, yup, yes sir indeed!"

Koenma groaned. "I bet."

"Gambling is illegal, though!"

"Well then WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL POKER? THERE'S SOMEBODY PLAYING POKER IN YOUR HOUSE EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY! WHETHER IT'S YOU OR THE WEASELS OR THOSE DAMN SINGING BATHROOM SHOES OR THE EVIL AURA OF DOOM OR WHATEVER, _SOMEBODY_ IN YOUR HOUSE IS PLAYING POKER!"

"Yes sir, so what?"

"SO YOU'RE CONSTANTLY BREAKING LAWS!"

"Well _I_ am expected to break a law, because I am a mere mortal, right?"

"I thought you said you were perfect..." Hiei muttered. She ignored him and kept talking.

"But _you_, dear Koenma, are the child ruler of Reikai, are you not? You _enforce_ laws, not break them."

Koenma got up. "Then I'm afraid, if I enforce laws and you break them, that you're under arrest, dear Shadow Jaganshi."

"Just me?"

"Yeah."

"HA HA HA HA HA! YOU WISH!" Shadow pulled a smoke bomb out of her pocket and exploded it in front of her. She then, quite obviously, darted out of the smoke cloud and jumped through a window, into her house. A moment later she was in the fourth floor window, pointing and laughing at the cloud of smoke.

"HA HA HA HA HA! YOU'RE STUPID, YOU STUPID STUPID-STUPID!"

"Am I really?"

Shadow spun around to see Koenma standing behind her.

"YES YOU ARE!" She jumped out the window and darted into the thinning smoke. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

"She'd make a horrible criminal," Hiei muttered from beside Koenma.

"I wasn't really going to arrest her."

"I know that."

Shadow, meanwhile, was standing in the wide open front yard, laughing maniacally. "AH HA HA HA HA! MUWA AH HA! BLAH HA HA HA! WEE HE HOOO!"

"No, she'd make a good criminal, but she'd do really bad should she ever be spotted," Hiei decided.

"THEN I'LL JUST HAVE TO NEVER BE SPOTTED!" she shouted up at them. She then took great lunging steps (more like slow motion jumps with pauses between them) towards the forest.

"Where's _she_ goin'?" Hiei asked nobody in particular, although he was standing right beside Koenma.

"I dunno, but if we're lucky, she'll never be back. Maybe those beavers will use her bones to build a damn..."

"I HEARD THAT!" Shadow hollered back, freezing in mid-step to glare (and promptly fall over because her sense of balance isn't all that dandy). "AND NEXT TIME, USE THE RIGHT DAM! HOW DO YOU BUILD A _DAMN_?"

"WITH SHOES!" Koenma hollered back. Shadow pulled off her shoe and hurled it at him. It stopped in mid-flight and fell straight down onto a curious Youko's head as he walked outside to see what was going on.

"Ow..." he said, falling down. "YOU WILL PAY, SHADOW!" He jumped up and ran after her.

"Eep! Gimme my shoe!"

Youko threw it. Shadow pulled it on as she ran into the forest, an angered fox right behind her.

"Well... I guess I won't get to talk to Youko for a while if he gets ahold of her in the secluded darkness of the forest..." Koenma muttered.

"Pervert," Hiei snapped, walking away.

**....................................................**

**Hi everyone. I just made Eclipse sit still through my entire 'writing replies to reviews' thing which took quite a while so now I'm gonna stop writing, post this, and talk to her (all we've done the entire two hours she's been here has been something to do with either my story, or horribly abusing each other for no apparent reason or no reason at all, apparent or not...) SO! I think I shall drag her off to watch Cowboy Bebop! Mushroom Samba!**


	8. Taste the Freaking Rainbow

**Robin Autumn-** Okay.  
**Bar-Ohki-** The end.** :)**  
**whowhenwhatever-** Why does everybody say they're gonna die! I have no idea how many people have said they're gonna die from laughing at my stories! AHHHHH!  
**C.C.C.-** Hyper from lack of sleep, are you serious? Dude, I'd be dead if I didn't sleep. But I was really hyper ALL DAY today because I didn't talk for like, three hours, then I was really hyper and now I'm really hyper again. I was dancing around acting like Shadow more than me... And THAT is scary. And guess what? I wrote the end of this chapter today, so it's really messed up!  
**Draikitha-** You're weird. Trigun's awesome, though.  
**PicoPicoZufuChan-** Yes, I taped that episode of Cowboy Bebop when it was on. MUWAHA! I love it. I watch it, then walk around talking about mushrooms for the next few days until my mother gets pissed and tells me to shut up.  
**kaida13-** I doubt they're eating my brain, cuz **I don't have one!  
Abanasinia-** Ah, yes, of course. I'll take your word for it...  
**Black Cat-** You're weird too....... O.o Don't kill Youko... I need him for my stories.  
**Shessha's Crazy-** I like money, but it killed me.  
**Mari Youma-** That's to be expected, as I think I intended for you to get bad thoughts...  
**Rei Jaganshi-** UPDATE YOUR STORIES! ::cough hack hack cough:: Yes, well, this story is over after this chapter.  
**xkuroxshinobix-** Uh... huh? All right, you're normal too.  
-Glad you liked it... Nameless person... Of doom...

**CHAPTER EIGHT  
**Taste the Freaking Rainbow

"So... You mean you have no idea what to do? _You_, the supposedly 'all-mighty' _Koenma_?" Yusuke accused.

"No. I don't really have any idea what to do," Koenma replied.

"BRAINSTORM!" Shadow hollered, jumping onto the back of the couch and throwing jelly beans and Skittles up in the air. "TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW, DAMMIT!"

"Ow! Shadow! God, I don't want to be showered with jelly beans, dammit!" Koenma snapped, jumping up and picking a few off the couch to throw back at her. They hit her and she gasped and went into a psychotic fit, fell off the couch, and lay on the floor faking a seizure.

"I'm not in the mood for her stupidity..." Koenma muttered.

"What about that other time these two were separated and we met those two tree-huggers? Whatever happened to them?" Hiei said.

"I dunno," Koenma said. "But that's a possibility... If I could ever remember what exactly happened to them... However, if I don't find them, I need more options."

"I s'pose I could do some research... See if there isn't maybe some kind of poison I could make that would--" Youko said.

"Poison?! You're gonna poison yourself?" Eclipse exclaimed, cutting him off. "Isn't that kinda stupid?"

"It wouldn't be deadly, fool!"

"Oh. Damn."

"Excuse me?!"

"I didn't say anything!" Eclipse said innocently.

"Yeah, I bet..."

"What about the way they were separated in the first place? That demon or whatever?" Yusuke said.

"That's a possibility..." Koenma said. "And that would be simplest because we still have him around. I say we go to Reikai now and see what he can do."

"But isn't he evil? I mean, he did it on purpose, didn't he?" Kuwabara pointed out. Koenma shrugged.

"We're very persuasive. If something goes wrong, he'll regret it. _If_ he can fix it in the first place."

"To Reikai!" Shadow exclaimed, jumping up and thrusting her fist into the air. She paraded off, fell down the stairs into the basement, and slammed into a wall. "Ow."

"Stupid..." Youko muttered.

Koenma led the group to the room he was keeping that demon in. They all filed inside. The demon turned around.

"Recognize these two?" Koenma asked, grabbing Kurama and Youko's arms and dragging them forward.

"Yes I do," the demon said, smirking.

"Can you fix what you did to them?"

"I don't know. What did I do?"

"You know what you did. Don't joke around," Koenma snapped. The demon's eyes fell on Shadow.

"Ah, you're that pretty girl that burnt me... The _idiot_."

"Yes I am. Thank you," Shadow said coldly. "Now fix what you did before I suffocate you with this overly fluffy rabbit I found." She held up a big fluffy white bunny rabbit by the scruff of its neck. The demon laughed.

"You're pathetic."

Hiei snorted. "Can you fix what you did, you fool? Or will I have to kill you?"

"_I_ didn't separate them. I just moved him," the demon said.

"Well can you _move_ his soul from Youko to the human body it was in BEFORE?" Koenma snapped.

"Probably."

"_Probably_ isn't good enough," Kurama said.

"Fine, I can do it, dammit, but what's the benefit for me?"

"We'll talk about that later," Koenma said.

"How about you do it and you get to live?" Hiei threatened.

"Ooh, is that supposed to scare me?"

"Dude, you're a freaking idiot!" Shadow said. "Just fix what you did and we'll all be happy, and we'll leave you the heck alone, and it'll be like nothing ever happened!"

"So naive..."

"KOENMA, I'M GONNA KILL IT!"

Eventually, Koenma decided he'd handle it and only himself and the two forms of Kurama were allowed inside the room with the demon creature. He sent everyone else off to an empty room down the hall to wait.

"If that stupid little freaker doesn't fix it, I'm killing him," Shadow said. Hiei clubbed her in the side of the head.

"You're acting weird. Be normal."

"Oh. What? Right! Hi!"

"I thought she _was_ acting normal..." Yusuke said. "Isn't it normal for a friend to be pissed at some guy who's supposed to be doing something to help their friend but he isn't? Cuz I'm pissed, and if there's something weird about that, I'd like to know."

"... Yeah. That's normal, by your standards, at least. But if you recall, Shadow is not normal by many peoples' standards, so if she's acting normal by your standards, that's weird for her. Normal for her is weird for everyone else. Got it?" Hiei said.

"Um... I think, maybe..."

"Glad to hear it."

"So now, all we can do is sit here and wait, I suppose," Kuwabara said.

"Apparently," Hiei agreed. He sat down, his back against the wall.

"I don't want to wait! I'm worried!" Yusuke said.

"Worried about what?" Shadow asked, skipping past. "They're all capable adults, aren't they?"

"Yeah, that one dude is a capable adult, pretty capable of hurting Kurama," Yusuke snapped. Hiei tripped Shadow as she skipped past and sent her sliding into the wall.

"Koenma can handle it," Hiei said.

"That's what I said, and you yelled at me and tripped me for it," Shadow complained, sulking in the corner.

"I didn't yell," Hiei replied. "How often do I yell at you?"

"VERY."

"How long is it supposed to take?" Eclipse asked, changing the subject.

"How am I supposed to know? It took about two seconds for him to screw the entire thing up last time, so I don't see why it would take much longer than that this time..." Hiei said.

"THEN WHY AREN'T THEY BACK YET?" Yusuke screamed. Koenma walked into the room just then. Alone.

"Well?" everyone prompted.

"Kurama is--"

"DEAD! HE'S DEAD, ISN'T HE?" Shadow screeched. She lunged at Hiei and sobbed into his chest. "Kurama's dead, Hiei! He's dead!"

"Shadow, I don't think that's what Koenma was going to say," Hiei said, trying to pry Shadow away from him.

"But he's dead! And it's all Yusuke's fault!"

"Mine?!" Yusuke yelped, but he was overridden by Koenma.

"Shadow, Kurama's not dead. He's perfectly fine," he said. Shadow froze.

"Seriously?" she said, still hugging Hiei and practically sitting on his lap.

"Seriously. He's just resting. He's back to normal, as far as we can tell."

"AND YOU HAD ME WORRIED!" Shadow accused, glaring at Hiei.

"What? I didn't say anything!"

"How dare you? You had to go and be so pessimistic, saying he was gonna die!" Shadow screamed, jumping up and kicking Hiei's leg.

"Ow! Hey! Back off!" Hiei said, jumping up.

"WHY SHOULD I?"

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" he snapped. Dodging Shadow's kicks and punches, he managed to ask Koenma, "Can we go see Kurama?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Really?" Shadow froze. "He's okay?"

"... Didn't I already say he was?" Koenma asked.

"Well let's go then!" Shadow said. She grabbed Eclipse's wrist and dragged her out the door. "Don't worry, Eclipse. I know you were worried sick over your lover, but he's okay, didn't you hear? You can stop crying now!"

"LOVER? CRYING? I'M NOT CRYING, I WASN'T CRYING, AND HE'S NOT MY LOVER!" Eclipse snapped, jerking her wrist out of Shadow's grip and punching her in the side of the head.

"Ow... That's not what Hiei told me..."

"Hiei?! What would Hiei know? What did Hiei say?" Eclipse exclaimed.

"Well, he told me he was talking to Kurama, and the fox accidentally let something slip about you and him, but he made Hiei promise not to tell anyone, then I interrogated Hiei and Hiei accidentally let the same thing slip, but he made me promise not to tell you or Kurama that he knew or that I know. I guess that blows that, though... Cuz now you know I know, but I don't see why you didn't tell me in the first place, being best friends like we are and all..."

"What are you talking about?" Hiei snapped, clubbing Shadow in the head.

"Stop hitting me! You people are so abusive! I feel unloved!"

"Hey guys, you're going the wrong way," Koenma informed them.

"I KNOW!" Shadow snapped, turning and stomping down the hall.

"We're not lovers," Eclipse growled. "And I wasn't crying. That was you. Maybe you're cheating on Hiei."

"What? There wouldn't be any 'cheating on' if I was with Kurama, which I'm not, because I'm not with Hiei in the first place," Shadow said. "I think Hiei and Kurama are having a secret relationship behind our backs."

"WHAT?!" Hiei screamed.

"Well, it is rather suspicious... You two vanishing off into the forest, telling me you're gonna go spar, then coming back shirtless and covered in cuts and bruises..." Shadow said, smirking with her eyes closed as she walked down the hall.

"How do you explain the cuts and bruises you spoke of? What would we be doing that would make us bleed like that other than fighting?" Hiei snapped.

"Hmm... I can think of a few things..." She opened her eyes and focused them on Hiei, still grinning evilly.

"You're sick! You've got a sick mind!"

"She's got a point, though," Yusuke agreed.

At this point, Koenma had long stopped leading and was hanging back a good five feet from his Reikai Tantei team.

"What? You should know, you've gone sparring with us before!" Hiei said.

"Threesome!" Shadow said happily. Yusuke gagged horribly.

"Yes, 'sparring,'" Eclipse said, making quotation marks with her fingers as she said 'sparring.' "They go off and 'spar' in the forest..."

"OKAY, ENOUGH TALKING LIKE THAT! You're making me nauseous," Koenma said. "I personally think Hiei loves Shadow. Yusuke's got a girlfriend, and Youko Kurama had plenty of girlfriends in his time in Makai..."

"Ah, the all-knowing Koenma solves another case," Eclipse said.

"What about Eclipse? I bet Eclipse loves Koenma," Shadow whispered to Hiei. He snorted back laughter.

"What was that?" Eclipse said menacingly.

"Nothing!" the fire demons said in unison.

"I bet it was nothing!"

"Here we are!" Koenma said, grateful for a reason to shut them up before he had more of his capable warriors lying around in recovery. He pushed past everyone and went to the door they were just about to pass. Putting his hand on the handle, he stopped, looking thoughtful. "This is the second time this has happened to Kurama, you know that? He doesn't have very good luck."

"It balances out with his above-average intelligence," Hiei said.

"Ah..." Koenma muttered, pushing open the door.

They all walked inside to find Kurama lying in a king-sized bed in a rather large room, with big windows and fluffy pillows and a big, fancy, expensive TV, and potted plants on the windowsills and perty lace curtains.

"Jeez! He doesn't deserve royal treatment just because he's been through a traumatic experience twice!" Shadow said. "That's not fair!"

"Jealous?" Eclipse asked.

"Yeah! I want my soul sucked out of my body just so I can have a king-sized bed in Reikai and sleep as much as I want and have somebody serve me!"

"You already _do_ sleep as much as you want," Hiei said. "I forget you exist half the time because you're always asleep!"

"Except when she's screaming and parading around the house in a skimpy nurse's uniform," Yusuke said. "Do you forget about her then?"

"No, but the thing about the skimpy uniform isn't very common," Hiei said. Shadow climbed up on Kurama's bed.

"Jeez... Fluffy comfy bed." She lay down next to him. "Well, good night everyone! You can leave now."

"... Shadow... Um..."

"What? This bed's big. He won't even notice I'm here! And if he does, he won't mind," Shadow said cheerfully.

"Get up," Hiei ordered in a semi-whiney 'I'm sick of your abnormalities' tone.

"You're mean," Shadow said, sitting up. "I can be his nurse while he recovers!" She jumped off the bed and spun around 360 degrees, magically changing clothes in a two-second time span and appearing in front of them in her skimpy nurse's uniform Yusuke had spoken of.

"He doesn't want you as a nurse, Shadow. You'd just prolong his recovery," Koenma said.

"You guys are all so mean... No wonder I have to take pills and go to therapy every Tuesday... And Thursday... And Friday... And Monday and Wednesday."

"You don't go to therapy, Shadow," Hiei said.

"I don't? When'd that memo come? Cuz I didn't get it."

Hiei groaned. "You've _never_ gone to therapy, and I can't say that it would help any if you _did._"

Shadow glared.

"So how do we know he's really back to normal? How do you know that other demon guy didn't just disintegrate Youko and make Shuichi pass out?" Yusuke asked, changing the subject before Shadow could retort.

"Do you know how stupid that sounds?" Kurama asked groggily. He opened his eyes and looked up at them all. "Hello."

"Are you normal?" Shadow and Yusuke asked in unison.

"Yes... As far as I can tell," Kurama said, looking at his hands.

"As far as you can tell?! What's that?" Eclipse yelped.

"What?" Kurama asked, confused.

"Don't confuse him!" Shadow snapped, bopping Eclipse with a rolled-up newspaper. "Or I, as his acting nurse, will have to ban you from his recovery ward!"

"... You're mean," Eclipse pouted, crossing her arms. Shadow grinned, taking a superhero pose.

"I know!"

Kurama chuckled. "Acting nurse?"

"Can't you see?" Shadow asked, standing like a normal person again. "I'm in a nurse's uniform, aren't I?"

"If that's what you call it..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Have you ever been in a hospital, Shadow?"

"Sure I have! When I got hit by a bus!"

"You weren't in a hospital! You just took pain killers endlessly until I had to make something to kill your addiction!" Kurama snapped.

"I wasn't addicted! I just liked painkillers! They kill the pain! And give you an odd floaty sensation at the same time!"

"You overdosed."

"I did not!"

"You did, Shadow," Hiei added.

"What do you know, Mister I-Grew-Up-In-A-Cave?"

"I didn't grow up in a cave..."

"Can you prove it? I bet you were raised by a pack of bloodthirsty carnivorous mutant HAMSTER DEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hang on a second!" Koenma interrupted. "When was it Shadow was addicted to pain killers, and why did nobody inform me? That's a black mark on your record, Shadow."

"YOU'RE ALL-KNOWING, AREN'T YOU? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW, AREN'T YOU? We shouldn't have to tell you. You always know the bad things," Shadow said. "Yet you seem to never know the good things."

"About who?"

"Me!"

"There _is_ nothing good about you!"

Shadow sniffled fakely. "Now you hurt my feelings..." She went bawling over to Hiei and hugged him, sobbing and bawling on his shoulder.

"My God..." Koenma muttered.

"I thought you _were_ God. Who's your God?" Eclipse asked.

"Eclipse... You're just about as smart as Shadow..." Koenma said.

Now it was Eclipse's turn to fake sniffle. She started bawling and turned to hug Kuwabara, stopped and stared, then bawled even more as she turned to Yusuke, froze, and bawled even more, standing still between them.

"I HAVE NOBODY TO CRY TO!" she wailed. Everyone stared as she ran around in tiny circles bawling and waving her arms in the air. Shadow screamed.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO _ME_!!!"

Hiei rubbed his ear, wincing. "I think I'm deaf."

"Pity," Koenma said dryly.

"I thought they were supposed to be paying attention to _me_," Kurama muttered, confused.

"That was my understanding," Koenma agreed. "That's why I brought them here, at least."

"Huh."

"Kurama! You're alive! I'm so glad to hear you and see such great news about your recovery!" Shadow said suddenly, completely normal. She lunged at Kurama, stopped dead in mid-air and moved over a few inches so she wouldn't land on top of him, and dropped down to the bed, which she promptly tumbled off and landed on the floor, grabbing an armful of blankets and hugging them with a happy smile while rolling around on the ground.

"Yes... Of course..." Kurama muttered, edging away from that side of the bed slightly.

"So, how are you feeling?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm fine... Just tired."

"Tired?! Really?! How interesting!" Shadow said loudly, popping up on the other side of the bed. Kurama jumped.

"Jeez! God, Shadow, don't do that!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GIVE HIM A HEART ATTACK!" Yusuke screamed, picking up Shadow by her collar and tossing her out the large window with the potted plants on the sill and the perty white lace curtains.

"Yusuke... We're in Reikai, did you forget?" Hiei said.

"Yes, I did," Yusuke said. They all stood silently for a minute before rushing to the window.

"Shadow?! Hellooooooo!" Kuwabara called in his loud, stupid, annoying voice.

"Hello!" Shadow said cheerfully. They looked down to see her hanging off a ledge about five feet down.

"Oh. Shew. We thought you'd fallen into the cloudy eternity below..." Eclipse said. "It wouldn't have been a big loss, but I would have missed laughing at you."

"Gee. Thanks, Eclipse, you evil child. I could just let go now and NOBODY WOULD CARE!" Shadow screamed.

Nobody said anything.

"Oh! So you really _wouldn't_ care! You're a bunch of bums!"

"Shadow, if you let go and fall into the cloudy eternity below, we'll all miss you," Kurama said. Everybody looked at him.

"Hey! You're supposed to be resting!" Shadow said. Kurama blinked, looking from Hiei and the others down to Shadow.

"Oops."

"Get me back in that room or I'll throw YOU into the hellish fires of... the cloudy fluffy perty eternity below," Shadow said in a confused sort of way, like that threat hadn't exactly come out as she'd planned.

"Nice... Stupid," Eclipse said.

"Why... you... If I weren't in this horrid life-or-something-similar-to-death situation, I'd come flying up there and kill you! But I'm just gonna hang from this ledge until somebody proves they care enough to rescue me! Hmph!"

"God. You're pathetic, Shadow," Hiei said. "If you can't tell if your friends care about you just because they put up with you all the time, then you really don't have a very good grasp on reality."

"Re-aal-it-ee... What is this... Re-al-ih-tee you speak of?" Shadow asked in a foreign accent.

"You're stupid."

"I am not!"

"You're just gonna hang there all day, aren't you?" Yusuke asked. Shadow nodded.

"If that's how long it takes for some kind person to rescue me..."

"My God, Shadow, you're so pathetic!" Hiei said.

"Well you're stupid!" she retorted.

"You're braindead."

"You're fat!"

"You're weak, too."

"I am not!"

"Oh, yeah, sure..."

"I'm not! You're mean!"

"I bet I could beat you with my hands tied behind my back and my eyes shut."

"You could not!"

"Wanna prove it?"

"Yeah! I'll prove it right now!" Shadow snapped, flinging herself up through the window and tackling Hiei. They rolled around strangling each other for a while until Shadow suddenly realized she was back inside the room and nobody had rescued her.

"Dammit!"

Hiei snickered.

"Shut up!" Shadow snapped, clubbing him in the side of the head.

"Ow..."

. . .

The next day, Kurama was as good as new and we were all the much happier for it... Or whatever.

Shadow danced down the street behind Kurama, singing.

"Youko's back in hiding, Youko's back in hiding, we are all so haaaappy, ya ya ya ya yaaaaaa ya...!"

"Shut up already, Shadow... Youko isn't hiding, he's just... Not out and about like he was," Kurama said patiently.

"Ya ya ya ya yaaaaaaaa ya...!"

"And if you don't shut up..."

"Ya ya ya ya yaaaaaaaaa YA!"

"He won't be 'not out and about like he was' anymore, and he'll be loose, a raving lunatic pervert chasing after you and trying to get your to sleep with him," Kurama snapped coldly, his patience gone. Shadow silenced instantly and walked like a normal human being.

"_Thank you_!" the fox sighed.

"No, thank you," Yusuke said to Kurama. "You got her to shut up without using violence."

"Threats work just as well."

"You're all so mean," Shadow sniffled. "I'm gonna go into this psychiatrist's office here and tell them that all my friends are mean and mentally and physically abusive and Youko uses me as his sex slave and he also abuses me in every other way possible... Maybe you'll all get thrown in prison..." She turned off the sidewalk and headed across the street to the psychiatrist's office she'd spoke of.

"Shadow, you idiot!" Hiei called. Too late. Remember the 'Tour de Japan' from my Wolf's Rain crossover fic?

Splat.

Dozens of hundreds of bicyclers went flying by and crushed Shadow into the asphalt. Then came the people in cars and stuff who follow the race, and for some odd reason, a small child on a fat Shetland pony went by too, stomping all over Shadow.

"Well, she's dead," Yusuke said. "Let's go."

The police came later that day and scraped up her remains into a Ziploc bag...

_The End._

**_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ._**

YES IT'S THE END DON'T COMPLAIN! OR I'LL CHASE YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY HIGHWAY WITH A CROWBAR AND GET MYSELF HIT BY A SEMI!


End file.
